


Become So Tired (So Much More Aware)

by InOurUnbeatingHearts (ADayDreamingDream)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Angst and Feels, Bisexual Isabelle Lightwood, Bisexual Jace Wayland, Blood Drinking, Character Death, Clary Bashing, Dark, Demisexual Raphael Santiago, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Minor Character Death, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Seelie Court, Torture, Vampire Rituals, Vampire war, Violence, vampire sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-07-17 07:49:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16091225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADayDreamingDream/pseuds/InOurUnbeatingHearts
Summary: Simon knows he screwed up. Bad. Because a fledgling cannot live without a clan and Clary had caused him to lose everything. The rune still burned on his shoulder, the rune that had forced him to obey her every command. The rune that she had used to destroy his home, his life. His love will never forgive him. And he will never forgive himself.Rewrite of 'I Don't Want to Let This Go (Is There Somewhere You Can Meet Me)





	1. A moment you'll never remember and a night you'll never forget

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Don’t Want to Let This Go (Is There Somewhere You Can Meet Me)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14217558) by [BlueStar1937](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueStar1937/pseuds/BlueStar1937), [InOurUnbeatingHearts (orphan_account)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/InOurUnbeatingHearts). 



> I actually made my deadline of Wednesday. yay. So this story follows the same idea and some of the same plot points as the original but that's probably going to be the only thing that's similar. I should probably warn you now, this story will more than likely be darker than the original. People will die, lives will be destroyed and there are no garante of a happy ending. Or even one that wraps everything up. I write like my stories are just a piece of these people's lives. Things get messy and not everyone gets the fairytale ending. With that being said I will try to wrap the major plots up (I've got a couple) in the end. I'll try.
> 
> Story title comes from the Linkin Park song 'Numb'  
> Chapter title comes from the Panic! At the Disco song 'Hallelujah'

Simon felt the sun set outside his hiding space. He was hidden in an old building in the Chelsea, one of the condemned buildings that were there. There wasn’t many anymore, most of them had been torn down or were about to be torn down so that new apartments could be built. Simon pushed the ratty blanket off himself and checked to make sure that he was still alone in the old apartment building. There wasn’t anyone in the building but there was a pair of men near the front door talking about construction that was going to start next week. Simon packed his bag, putting the blanket into his duffle bag along with his laptop and the charger, a can of pepper-spray, a switchblade, his wallet and his star of David. The star burned when he brushed against it but Simon didn’t pull away, he had grown used to pain in the months that he had been on the street. It had been Fall when Clary had drawn the rune on his shoulder. It was now well into Summer almost Fall again.

Simon listened to the two men talk. They would be in the building tomorrow, checking to see what would be needed to be done. Simon looked around the little room that he had been staying in. It looked like he had spent his last day at this place and would need to find a new hiding place. He slipped down the back staircase and jimmied one of the windows open and slipped out into the alley that lined the back of the building. He knew he would need to feed tonight and wondered if the money for the last job he had done had come through. Simon had made a living off of being a police informant. His tendencies to roam every night paired with the fact that no one paid attention to a homeless bum made his job easier. Luke had set it up for him, it had been the only help that he had taken from the werewolf and he had forced Luke to swear never to tell anyone about it. Simon wanted to be left alone. He wanted to be forgotten.

 Glancing around him to get his bearings, Simon realized that he had wandered too far west, getting dangerously close to the Institute.  With a sigh he pattered down the stairs into145 St. subway station and checked the trains to see when the next one was going across the river to Queens. He had information to deliver to Luke after all.

 

Raphael hated police stations. Hated how they stank of drugs, sweat, blood, and desperation. They reminded him of his teenage years before he had been turned when he and his friends would be dragged in even though they had done nothing and be questioned for hours simply because they were Latino. However, he had a proposition to give to the leader of the werewolves and Luke was apparently working tonight so here he was walking into the 89th Precinct with Lily beside him. The precinct was large, larger than they had used to be when Raphael had last been in one at least, and had a lot of people moving around and talking but he spotted Luke almost immediately, talking to another man about a string of robberies that had taken place around Greenwich. The guy was giving Luke a basic description of the burglars and promising to draw them later when he had time and Raphael wondered who this guy was, his voice seemed familiar, almost like Simon’s had been but lighter, almost raspy. Not that it mattered because Raphael could see the grime and dirt that covered the man’s many layers of clothes meaning he was no doubt homeless and Simon was no doubt still living at the Institute. Luke hadn’t noticed them yet but the other man had, going tense and standing abruptly

“I should go.” The other man said and Raphael narrowed his eyes. Taking a deep whiff of the stranger’s scent he caught the underlying aroma of the undead.

“Alright. Take care of yourself.” Luke said patting the rogue vampire on the shoulder. Raphael glanced at Lily before nodding towards the rogue that was heading towards the door. She rolled her eyes but followed the other vampire out the door.

“Good evening Lucian.” Raphael said and Luke raised an eyebrow

“Explains why my informant got so jumpy all the sudden.” Luke said turning away from him to shuffle through some papers

“I didn’t take you for the type to work with vampires.” Raphael said and Luke shrugged

“I knew him before he was turned. Didn’t seem right to just abandon him like everyone else just because he was a vampire.” Luke said and Raphael let out a subvocal growl.

“Why didn’t you bring him to Dumort? He would be safe there and we would never abandon a fledgling.” Raphael snapped. Luke’s face contorted into pure rage and he slammed his fist on the desk making it shudder dangerously. It reminded Raphael that he wasn’t the only apex predator in the building and that he also didn’t have any backup in case this went sour

“You did abandon him though. The informant that you just chased off was Simon. He’s done what he’s needed to survive the _bounty_ you put on his head. Did you know that he still has Downworlders try to collect on that by the way? That just last week he came in asking for a new jacket because some rogue vampire got it in his head that if he brought Simon in to Dumort that he would be accepted into the clan? Don’t preach your bullshit here, I don’t want to hear it.” Luke snarled. Raphael let out a hiss and pulled his phone out to dial William who was suppose to spread the word that the bounty on Simon was voided a month ago.

“William.” Raphael hissed into the phone and he heard the sound of someone whimpering in the background.

“Ah, Raphael, I assume this is about that bounty on the fledgling.” William said in a cheerful tone. Raphael let out a growl

“I told you that it was no longer valid. Anyone who tries to collect will be eliminated.” Raphael snapped

“Yes, yes. You did say that _but_ you see, this fledgling is Camille’s and well, she was very interested in him so I kept the bounty on his head. She’s very eager to see her Childe you see, and well, you see she said she’d pay me extra if I brought him in myself. I have always wanted to retire on the soft sands of the Bahamas and this is my ticket there. This fledgling…” William said and Raphael’s grip in his phone grew so tight he crushed it. Turning back to Luke he saw the werewolf was watching him.

“We need to find Simon right now.” Raphael said. Luke straightened up

“What’s going on?” He asked and Raphael explained the situation to him. By the end Luke looked like he was about to shift and tear something up so Raphael made himself scarce by leaving to round up his clan for the search.

 

Simon was sitting on a stone fence in Astoria Park watching the CCT cameras for most of Queens two hours after meeting with Luke. He was watching them at super speed of course, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to watch all the footage for the city in a week like he did. He wasn’t really paying attention this time, too busy wondering why Raphael was visiting Luke at the precinct. Probably something to do with the fighting that had been going on recently, Simon had been forced to erase some footage of a fight because two wolves did a partial shift right in the street when tussling with another rogue vampire. Erasing evidence of the Downworld was most of Simon’s job whether it was editing footage that showed a Warlock’s mark or erasing footage of Shadowhunters killing a demon. Whatever it was, Simon usually took care of it so that NYPD’s finest didn’t even know it was missing. He’d gotten pretty good at it too. Originally, he’d been using Luke’s login but after a month he had simply hacked the system and gave himself a backdoor so that Luke’s name didn’t pop up in the logs anymore. Now, he was just a ghost in the system. A low growl made him look up. There was a partially shifted wolf a few feet away staring at him with what could only be a calculating gaze

“Can I help you?” He asked hoping this wasn’t going to turn into a fight. It wasn’t that he wasn’t good in a fight, the past year had taught him not only how to fight but also how to fight dirty, but he didn’t care to cause harm to another. The wolf took another step forward and Simon slowly closed his computer

“There’s a bounty on your head. Willy said that if I help him catch you he’ll pay me a quarter of it.” The wolf growled out in the usual guttural tone that all wolves got when they were in this form. Simon set his computer aside and hopped off the wall.

“I don’t want any trouble. How about we forget we saw each other and leave each other alone.” Simon said slowly walking towards the wolf. The wolf snarled and competed the shift to his wolf form. Simon sighed and pulled his jacket off

“People see dollar signs and get stuck on that.” He muttered. The fight was over quickly, ending when Simon snapped the man’s neck. Ever the opportunist and because he knew someone would do it before the police were called, Simon rifled through the man’s pockets, pulling out his wallet and taking the cash he had there.

“This happen often?” A familiar voice asked from behind. Simon spun, dropping the wallet and saw Lily Chen standing a few feet away near the street.

“You want a fight too?” He asked wearily and Lily smirked

“Not from you. Impressive how you took him down. It makes me wonder what else those Shadowhunters you’re so fond of taught you.” She said. Simon snatched up the wallet and tossed it onto the body

“They didn’t teach me anything. If you don’t want a fight what do you want?” He asked and Lily shrugged

“You should be careful. Apparently, there’s still a bounty on your head.” She said and Simon rolled his eyes. He headed back to his computer and shut it before packing it away. Once he was ready to go he turned back to her

“Bye Lily.” He said before speeding off. The next stop of the night was the butcher’s shop. Since most of the human blood banks were controlled by Dumort and those that weren’t were controlled by Camille he tended to stick to a mostly animal blood diet with the occasional human blood bag that Luke could get to him. The butcher that he visited was as friendly as usual. Which is to say he gave Simon the stink eye and preformed the cross whenever he thought Simon wouldn’t notice. It didn’t stop him from selling to Simon but it did make their relationship awkward. Simon settled down in St. Michael’s Cemetery to eat, knowing that anything he left behind would be thought to be hooligans. Once he had eaten Simon crossed Astoria boulevard above the Grand Central Parkway and headed up 49th Street. He was about two blocks south of the treatment plant looking for a quiet place to sleep the day away when he heard someone call his name. Turning he saw Jace and Alec rushing towards him. Jace was making wide waving motions like he was trying to wave away a large fly but Simon had no time to try and decipher the movement because something was slamming into him. He recovered quickly, jumping to his feet and watching the three vampires circle around him. There was two male vampires and a female. Two of them, one of the males and the female had similar pale features and Simon figured they were probably siblings while the third was dark skinned.

“Just like we thought. A weak fledgling.” The woman said with a feral grin. Simon let out a sub vocal snarl

“Try it bitch.” He said letting his fangs elongate. The fight was brutal and the four vampires moved too quickly for anyone to keep track of. Simon knew that Jace and Alec would be in the fray with him if they could keep up but he also knew that they were far too slow. Someone raked their claws down the back of Simon’s right leg, cutting to the bone but he retaliated by sinking his fangs into the pale male vampire’s neck and tearing it out. That caused the other two to put some distance between him and them

“Eric!” The woman shrieked as her brother vanished into dust. Simon was covered in blood, both his own and theirs

“Get lost unless you want to end up like your brother.” Simon said wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. The woman looked like she wanted to lunge towards him again but the last male vampire pulled her back

“He’s not worth it.” The dark-skinned vampire said pulling her away. She relented and they were gone. Simon collapsed onto the ground and took stock of his body. His right leg was mangled, he would be surprised if he was able to walk on it for the next couple of days from how deep and messy the gashes were, his left wrist was broken and he had similar gashes running from his shoulder to his elbow. They would also take a while to heal. Probably the least amount of damage was done to his back but that was probably due to the extensive and heavy scar tissue that made up most the skin on his back.

“Holy shit.” Jace swore crouching down beside Simon. Simon shot him a fanged grin

“Didn’t think I could hold my own in a fight, did you?” He said as Jace helped him stand and supported part of his weight. Alec grabbed his bag and hefted it onto his own shoulder

“Fuck no. You did good Lewis.” Jace said as the two Shadowhunters started herding Simon away from the scene of the crime. Simon let them since they weren’t leading him in the direction of the Institute. After about a block he finally asked where they were going

“A safe place for you to sleep.” Was all Alec would say and Simon decided to let it drop. They turned at an average looking apartment building and Alec swiped to get them in the door. Simon was thankful that it seemed the elevator was working and they headed up to the tenth floor. There were only two apartments on this floor. Alec opened the door to the one on the left and Simon was floored by how big the place was. It had spacious kitchen that was separated from a large living room by a bar. Simon could see that there were at least three rooms off the living room and one of the walls in the living room was made entirely of floor to ceiling glass

“Where the hell did all this come from? Who’s paying for it?” Simon asked as Jace helped him down onto the soft black couch in the living room

“It’s one of Magnus’ spare places. He set it up for you when you were banished and it’s sat here since. Don’t worry about the windows, he’s put an experimental spell on them to make them vampire friendly and had Santiago test it.” Alec said and Simon let out a choked laugh at the thought of Raphael coming into the apartment to test if the windows would burn them or not. He had probably sent one of his clan members though and that thought sobered him a bit.

“Alright. I’ll be here for at least a week due to my leg so…” Simon said trailing off since he didn’t know what to say

“You can stay here you know. Magnus would feel better if he knew where you were staying.” Jace said and Simon snorted

“I’m not a charity case.” He snapped and caught the two of them share a look

“We know that Simon. We’re your friends. We care about you.” Alec said and Simon felt a familiar feeling of rage over take him

“Really? Friends? Where was that friendship when Clary stole my free will? When she kept me trapped in the Institute like a pet while every one of you stood by and watched? Where were you when I was a prisoner in my own head? You stood by because she was one of you and I wasn’t. You stood by when you knew what she was doing was wrong and you let her do it anyways.” Simon snarled. His posture was aggressive as well and Jace took a step away from him and grasped the hilt of his sword as if expecting an attack. The sight made the tension and rage in Simon wash away leaving the equally familiar bone deep ache of exhaustion

“We didn’t know Simon. You have no reason to believe us but neither I nor Jace knew about the rune that Clary drew on you. We still don’t know much, only that it allowed her to have influence over your actions. That’s all she’s alluded to and getting any more information about it has been like pulling teeth.” Alec said and Simon shrugged

“Ask your sister. She was there, she’s the one that held me down during the process.” Simon said and Alec recoiled before hardening

“I will. I will get answers Simon, I promise, and we’ll take action against those who had a part in hurting you.” He said and Simon nodded.

“I believe you.” Simon said and he realized that he wasn’t lying. He actually believed Alec’s words.


	2. I act like I don't fucking care 'Cause I'm so fucking scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title comes from the Blackbear song 'Idfc'. 
> 
> Like I said in the first chapter, this story is going to follow some of the same ideas of the original but it's going to be more different than the same.

Simon sat on the couch typing away at his computer. It was about three in the morning and he was far too busy working through several different conspiracy theories that were running through the internet that were far too accurate for comfort. The biggest being about Dumort being the home to a den of vampires. So here Simon was, deleting article after article while simultaneously adding the author to ever watchlist he could think of including several pedophile watchlists. He was almost healed, just waiting for his Achilles tendon to finish reconnecting and then he would be good to go. Alec and Jace had been trying to convince him that he was safe at the apartment and he had to admit that it was a very nice set up. They didn’t push him to let them in the door even though Alec had a key. He had slept far more in one sitting than he had since his turning. They had given him two bags of human blood and it had helped speed up the healing process. Simon wouldn’t even have any scars either. Of course, he had thrown up most of it two hours after the two Shadowhunters had left but the little bit that he had been able to stomach had been nice. An unfamiliar knock on the door pulled Simon out of his work  
“Yeah?” He called and there wasn’t a reply. Odd. Simon slowly got up and grabbed his crutches. There was another round of knocks, these being more like someone pounding on the door. Simon paused before heading towards the bedroom where he had left his cell. He shut the bedroom door behind himself and sat on the bed while he dialed Jace who was supposed to visit tonight  
“Hey, I’m on our way over. What’s wrong?” Jace said when he answered  
“Someone’s knocking on my front door.” Simon said softly. Jace swore  
“Hide. I’m just around the corner.” Jace said and Simon hung up. He tucked the crutches into the closet, shutting it before carefully hobbling towards the bed and sliding under it. It was then that there was a crash from the outer room and someone barked a rough  
“Find him!” Simon held his breath, something he had found easier after he had left Dumort since some of the places he had crashed during the day had smelt worse than death. There was the sound of several feet pounding and he watched a pair of feet thunder into the bedroom from his hiding spot.  
“Sniff him out.” Another gruff voice said and Simon had to force himself not to move. He knew that even the slightest of movement would give away his hiding spot  
“Can’t. This whole fucking apartment smells like the fucking bastard. It’s impossible to tell what’s fresh.” A third voice said. Simon closed his eyes and forced himself to relax as they began to discuss how to find him. One wanted to rip the place apart but another, who sounded like he was the leader, didn’t because he said that it would get Magnus pissed and Simon wanted to chime in that the Shadowhunters wouldn’t be happy either. Their argument was cut short when Jace arrived. Simon could hear them fighting and then there was only silence.  
“Simon?” Jace called from the outer room  
“Under the bed.” Simon called back. He tried to wiggle out of his hiding spot but his ankle was killing him and he only made it about a quarter of the way out before Jace had to pull him out.  
“Good hiding spot.” Jace said with a grin and Simon shrugged  
“Monsters never look under the bed, that’s supposed to be their turf.” Simon said and Jace laughed causing Simon to crack a smile.  
“We have some good news. Alec got Izzy to talk and she spilled everything. He took the information to Magnus who’s taking it to Santiago tonight and getting the hit taken off your head. He might even invite you back to the clan.” Jace said plopping down onto the bed beside Simon. Simon raised his eyebrow at the blood that Jace was getting on his blanket but didn’t say anything. He could wash it later since there was three washers and two driers in the basement.  
“I’ve got work to do. Will you bring me my laptop?” Simon asked and Jace raised an eyebrow  
“You’re not going to comment about what I just said.” He asked incredulously. Simon shrugged  
“I’ve gone almost a year without a clan. It’s hard sometimes and I always feel like I’m adrift in a stormy sea but I’ve grown used to it. Whether or not Raphael invites me back isn’t important anymore because I doubt he will. He’s got far too much pride to rescind the banishment even if he takes the hit off my head.” Simon said blandly. Jace frowned and left the room returning with the laptop. Simon shooed him away to the bathroom to clean the blood off himself and started to strip the bed so that he could remake it in clean sheets. When Jace returned he was shirtless but his jeans were cleaner and it was obvious he had scrubbed at them to clean them up. Jace helped him remake the bed before crawling in and curling up beside him. Simon worked on deleting the last of the conspiracy blog and set about going through the security cameras around the city to do his weekly doctoring session. Jace pressed into his side and Simon let him knowing that this was Jace’s way of giving comfort. Jace fell asleep somewhere between five and six so when Simon put the computer away at seven he was softly snoring. Simon watched the Shadowhunter sleep and wondered if he could have fallen in love with Jace if things had been different. He supposed he could have, Jace was beautiful in an angelic way until he opened his mouth and started talking. That was when one knew he was an asshole. Simon slipped out of the bed and grabbed his crutches from where Jace had put them leaning on the bedside table. He hobbled into spare room which Magnus had turned into a library of sorts and grabbed the book he had been reading the previous day. It was on Vampire law, something that Simon figured he should really know since he was now both a vampire and without a clan. There were all sorts of things that now applied to him such as a vampire from a clan could kill him without getting in trouble if he was on clan land and the fact that Simon could create his own clan if he could find them a place to live and have five or more vampire followers. He had thought about making his own clan for a brief minute before discarding the idea since he was no leader. He would more than likely get anyone who followed him killed by the Dumort Clan. Other things he had learned was that since he was still a fledgling Raphael had had to prove without a doubt that Simon had been a danger to his clan before kicking him out officially and that if he had known the law he could have contested the decision within a month of being banished.  
Not that Clary would have released him from the rune to let him return to Dumort. 

Raphael stood at the door of his Papa’s apartment. Magnus had told him to come over and that had raised all sorts of red flags with the clan leader. First, Magnus didn’t talk to him anymore, it had started when Raphael had become Camille’s second in command and especially after he had kicked Simon out. He and Magnus had fought for days about that decision. Magnus had won in the long run. While Raphael hadn’t rescinded the banishment yet he had pulled the bounty off Simon’s head and had been spreading the word that the fledgling was still under the protection of Dumort. William had fled which had caused a whole array of new problems starting with the fact that Raphael would need a new bounty broker to work for the clan and ending with the fact that some of the Downworld would still be hunting Simon due to the sleaze’s deal with Camille.  
Another reason he was worried about coming to Magnus’ apartment was that he was afraid the fledgling was staying there. He hadn’t visited since he had taken over the role of Clan leader because Raphael hadn’t had the time. Magnus was known for having a big heart. He would have taken Simon in in heartbeat and that had always been the reason Raphael hadn’t visited his Papa after Simon’s banishment. After standing there for several minutes contemplating what was on the other side of the door the door burst open and Raphael was dragged inside by the Warlock.  
“He’s not here but we do need to talk about our dear Samone.” Magnus said sounding slightly exasperated. Raphael raised his eyebrow at who was there, the two Lightwoods. The male sibling was standing by the large windows, leaning against the wall in the perfect picture of nonchalance. The female was sitting on the couch, a tissue box in her lap and her makeup running down her face as she cried softly.  
“Who has the fledgling killed?” Raphael asked gritting his teeth to keep from running out to find the baby vampire to hide him away.  
“No one. It’s more of what was done to him.” The male Lightwood said and Raphael crossed his arms across his chest.  
“When they freed Camille, was Seamus acting…odd?” Magnus asked and Raphael shrugged  
“He was more distant than he had been before. Refused to let me touch him. Agitated.” Raphael said without mentioning that Simon had recoiled away when Raphael had tried to calm him by pulling him into his arms or how he had been repeating the same phrase over and over like it was the only thing he could say.  
“He was under the control of a rune called Rectio. It’s basically the drawer has complete control over the victim, what they do, what they say, everything. While they are under its control the victim is aware of everything but helpless to stop any of it. It’s illegal to use on another Shadowhunter and so old no one thought to make it illegal for use on Downworlders.” The male Lightwood said and Raphael knew if he was the type to still breath the air would have been drained from his lungs.  
“As convenient as that sounds, why should I believe the word of a Shadowhunter?” Raphael asked and this time Magnus spoke  
“I’ve seen it too. I’m old enough to remember when it was still used. It’s the Rectio rune on Simon’s shoulder.” He said and Raphael frowned. Simon hadn’t been in control but then who freed him  
“How did he get free? I doubt the person who drew it removed it. Simon would have been back at the hotel explaining himself if that was the case.” Raphael said and he watched as Magnus and the older Lightwood shared a look  
“I broke it.” The female Lightwood said breaking the silence and speaking for the first time since he had arrived. With all the attention on her the girl began to speak. She spoke of Fray locking Simon away so that he would have limited contact with the rest of the Shadowhunters. She spoke of how Simon seemed to be wasting away and how one night in January Fray had been called away on a mission before she could lock Simon away. The girl said she had taken a seraph blade and tore through the rune freeing Simon before telling him to run and not look back.  
“…I got an anti-tracking potion from a warlock and doused everything that Clary could have used to track him in it. I just hoped that he would be safe where ever he ended up. That one day he would be truly free.” She said and Raphael felt the world around him fade to static. His bebé had been alone because of this.  
“Why are you just bringing this to my attention now?” Raphael snapped. Half of him wanted to flash out of there and search every dark place for his cariño.  
“Because we found Sherwin. He’s safe for now but whispers in the Downworld is that Camille’s looking for him as well. He needs the bounty to be pulled from his head Raphael. He doesn’t deserve to be hunted.” Magnus said and Raphael frowned  
“The bounty was supposed to be pulled a couple of weeks ago. My broker didn’t because he was working for Camille. I’ve spread the word that’s it’s invalid now though. Anyone who tries to collect knows they would have to deal with the clan.” Raphael said and Magnus nodded.  
“Good. I’m sure Seth will be happy to not have any more vampires attack him in the streets.” Magnus said clapping his hands. Raphael frowned but didn’t comment  
“Where is he.” He asked and the older Lightwood pushed off from his place on the wall  
“He’s safe. Until he want’s to see you or unless we think he needs the clan it is better if his hiding spot remains a secret. We don’t want Clary to find it.” He said and Raphael frowned.  
“He’ll need blood. I’m not sure where he’s currently getting it but I’ll start supplying him.” Raphael said and Magnus nodded.  
“Wonderful.” He said cheerily. Raphael narrowly held back on the urge to roll his eyes in a way that was undignified  
“If Simon asks, he had a place at Dumort.” He said instead before flashing away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, kudo, maybe bookmark but definitely subscribe. Come hang out with me on Tumblr, my username is TwistedMetalTrees and I have it on my phone so I'm supposed to be reachable where ever I am.


	3. Please don't fake it, show me what you're all about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so in the original Jace hooks up with a Mundane girl. I don't really want to do that because I want to include Jace's love life a little more than just in passing so here are your options  
> a) a Shadowhunter who transfers into the Institute  
> b) a warlock  
> c) a vampire who joins Raphael's clan  
> d) a fey who breaks away from the Seelee Queen
> 
> Make your vote in the comments or if you want to be anonymous to your peers you can message me on Tumblr at TwistedMetalTrees.
> 
> 10/27/18 - Added a chapter title from the song 'Fake' by The Tech Thieves

Simon paced the small apartment, fighting with himself on whether or not to leave. He knew he should. That despite Magnus, Alec, and Jace assuring him that he was safe there it didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. His instincts screamed that something was coming and coming fast. Glancing at the couch he noted that he had already packed his bag without realizing it, all he had to do was grab it and leave. The city was big, there was plenty of places for him to vanish to, plenty of dark cracks for him to slip into. He would be okay on his own he assured himself. Pausing in his movements he made his decision and grabbed his bag. He also grabbed the cell that Magnus had left when he had come earlier that week.

To think that Raphael had lifted the bounty on his head. Simon couldn’t wrap his head around it, it was far too good to be true. Hesitating on the way out the door he sighed and grabbed the key from its hook on the door telling himself that if he needed a place to get out of the rain this would be a good place to crash.

 

Raphael needed to get out of the hotel. He needed to get away from everyone wanting something from him. It seemed like the Shadowhunters were demanding that he help them with their problem with Morgenstern, the werewolves wanted him to deal with the influx of rogue vampires who where spreading across the city like a plague, the other vampires were watching waiting for him to crash and burn. It seemed the only people in the Downworld who wasn’t demanding he do something about someone was the Warlocks and they were to busy disappearing into who knows where to want anything from anyone. The Shadowhunter’s war was escalating but it wasn’t Raphael’s biggest concern. That would be Camille, the insane dictator who was creeping in on his city trying to sink her claws into what was no longer hers. He was passing a park, he didn’t know the name, when he had the urge to stop and enter it. It was a clear night; the park was on the river and there was a breeze coming off the water. That was when he caught the scent. Simon. The fledgling was sitting on a bench by the water, working away on a computer in his lap

“I didn’t think little old me warranted the Leader of the Dumort Clan feeling threatened enough to come find me.” Simon said as Raphael approached

“I’m not here to kill you.” Raphael said. Simon made a soft humming noise but didn’t reply any further. He came to stand beside the bench and peer over Simon’s shoulder

“What are you doing?” He asked and Simon paused in his typing.

“I’m editing the security cameras on an ATM in Manhattan that caught the fight between one of your members and a rogue vampire.” Simon said as he started working again. Raphael was taken aback by the answer. He had not expected Simon to still be looking out for the clan, to still be protecting the members of the clan that exiled him.

“I did not know you had such skill.” Raphael said and Simon shrugged

“I’ve always been good with computers. Luke pays me to keep anything supernatural away from the NYPD’s sights.” Simon said and Raphael nodded. That made more sense than him protecting the clan. Though inadvertently he was indeed protecting the vampires that had cast him out.

“Have you eaten tonight?” Raphael asked and Simon shook his head.

“I’ll eat tomorrow. I tend not to eat to often, my stomach isn’t used to it anymore.” Simon said and Raphael nodded. It made sense, the fledgling would have been forced to seek other avenues for food during his exile and what wasn’t controlled by the clan was being scooped up by Camille. It would have been hard for Simon to find food that wouldn’t be reported back to somebody.

“Simon.” Raphael said and there must have been something to his voice that made Simon close his computer and slide it into a bag that sat on the ground

“What do you want Santiago? I’ve been trying to figure it out since you started supplying blood to Magnus for me and I still can’t seem to figure it out.” Simon said.

“May I sit?” Raphael asked before adding, “I’d rather not have this conversation with me looming over you.” Simon laughed at those words and patted the empty seat next to him. Careful to leave space between them, Raphael sat

“You could have contested my banishment. You could have come and given a reason within the first month. I often wondered if I would see you during that time. You never struck me as the type to roll over and let others walk all over you, not when it came to things that really mattered. It wasn’t until Papa and the Lightwoods explained to me about the rune that I understood that you couldn’t come. That nothing had been your choice, you hadn’t been in control.” Raphael said. He wanted to reach out; put a hand on Simon’s knee, hold his hand, something. Raphael knew the fledgling must have been touch starved, vampires were tactile creatures by nature and the fledgling had been alone for far too long for him _not_ to be touch starved.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that much without calling me an idiot at least twice.” Simon said after a long moment of silence between the two

“Idiota.” Raphael said fondly and Simon laughed

“There you go.” He murmured. Raphael looked out over the water

“Do you think you can win against Camille.” Simon asked and Raphael was slightly taken aback by the question.

“What do you mean?” He asked and Simon sighed

“It’s…there’s a lot of rogue vampires in this city who just want to survive. Camille’s making a shit ton of fledglings for her army and recruiting a lot of the more violent rogues to be her lieutenant’s but there are those who just want to ride out the waves of this war. More peaceful rogues who don’t deserve to be clanless.” Simon said before taking a deep breath and continuing

“My point is that she’s got a lot of followers but that there are a lot more vampires in this city that would rather be a part of your clan than hers. There are a lot of vampires who are only clanless because they don’t know what type of leader you are and were turned away when Camille was still in control of the clan.” Simon said. Raphael thought about his words. They made sense. Camille would often turn away vampires who wanted to join the clan because she didn’t like how they looked, wasn’t in the mood for new clan members or even because they didn’t have an expensive gift for her.

“Send them my way and I’ll see if any are a good fit for the clan.” Raphael said and then the awkward silence fell. Simon’s phone rang, sharp and shrill, and he fumbled to answer it

“Yes?” He said, sounding tired. Raphael couldn’t hear what was being said on the other end but knew from the way that Simon’s shoulders tensed that it wasn’t good.

“Thanks, Jace. I’ll make myself scarce.” Simon said before hanging up. Raphael raised an eyebrow when Simon pinched the bridge of his nose

“I have to get out of here for a bit. Apparently, there’s a demon wandering around Astoria and Isabelle and Fray are going to be canvasing this area.”  Simon said standing and slinging his bag over his shoulder. Raphael nodded

“I am glad I was able to speak to you Simon. Take care of yourself.” Raphael said. Simon nodded and his lips quirked like he wanted to smile but not enough to actually be a smile.

“Buena suerte, cariño.” Raphael murmured after Simon had blurred away. He sat there watching the lights across the river until he heard the sound of footsteps behind him. Taking a sniff, he recognized the cheap jasmine scent of the Fray girl’s perfume and the smell of angel’s blood.

“What do you know? You’re a little far from your den.” Clary’s harsh voice snapped. Raphael didn’t let her words phase him, they were the words of a child. Instead he focused on how he wanted to snap her neck for what she did to his Bebé.

“I enjoy the view of the city from this side of the river.” He said, voice polite but cold. Fray snorted

“I think I’d enjoy seeing you as nothing more than a pile of ash.” She snarled and Raphael raised an eyebrow.

“I think that’s a bit out of line. Miss Fray. I am doing nothing wrong and you have no cause. Of course, you are a typical Angel Child. Full of yourself and sitting in an ivory tower leering down on those who do the actual work around here.” Raphael said standing and brushing off some invisible dirt. At this point the Lightwood girl was rushing over

“You do nothing! You refuse to help with the war and yet you accuse us of leering.” Fray snapped, drawing a blade. Raphael tsked

“I am fighting my own war. One that you made for me when you forced your way into my home. How did the book help by the way? Last I heard from Mr. Garraway she was still fast asleep with no waking in sight. Must have been terrible, knowing you did all that for nothing.” Raphael said with obviously fake sympathy. At this point Miss Lightwood had arrived

“A pleasure as always to see you Miss Lightwood. Tell your brother that we dispatched three Shax demons last week when we were in Washington Heights but caught a scent of another and lost it. There might be a nest somewhere around the New York-Presbyterian Hospital.” Raphael said and she nodded

“Thanks for the head’s up. We’ll send a team to check it out.” The Lightwood girl said and Raphael blurred back to the hotel.

 

Alec sat at his desk with piles of paperwork scattered around him. Running the Institute was a lot of work and he was doing it alone. Technically he was supposed to run it with his spouse but after the fiasco with the wedding the Clave had given him permission to run it alone. He looked up when someone knocked on his door and bade them entry. Izzy walked in

“We didn’t find the demon but we ran into Raphael Santiago in Astoria park and he told me to relay the message that his clan took care of three Shax demons in Washington Heights near the New York-Presbyterian Hospital and he thinks there might be a nest.” She said and Alec nodded

“Thanks. I need you to get back to the lab. Robson’s team were taking care of a fey lab and brought back a dozen or so liquids that need to be tested.” Alec said and Izzy nodded

“Yeah, I’ll get right on it. Oh, and fair warning. Clary’s on a warpath about something Raphael said. I didn’t hear their entire conversation but she drew a blade on him.” Izzy said and Alec let out a soft sigh

“Did she actually attack him?” He asked and she shook her head

“Thanks. I’ll have a talk with her about anger management and if this doesn’t improve then I’m going to be pulling her from mission.” Alec said. Izzy nodded and they both knew what kind of temper tantrum that would ensue if he actually had to pull Clary from the mission roster. She was getting overly aggressive though, using her weight as their friend to get things done her way. Alec put a stop to it when people brought it up to him but she continued to try and pull the same shit. Izzy left, shutting the door behind her and he returned to his paperwork. It was a little more than two hours later when his door opened and Jace slid inside before closing it near silently. Alec barely glanced up at Jace before nodding over to the chair that he had tucked away almost out of sight. Jace slumped into the chair with nothing more than gratitude.

“If I hear how much she loves me one more time.” Jace grumbled and Alec smirked down at his paperwork. Jace left his hiding spot long enough to grab a stack of paperwork and a pen. Alec was grateful for his parabatai. Without Jace helping him with all the mess that came with the missions Alec would never make it home to Magnus before dawn. They worked through the paperwork that needed to be done before the end of the week and Alec pushed away from his desk

“Come on. I’m going back to Magnus’ and I’m sure if you ask really nicely he’ll let you sleep on the couch.” Alec said standing and stretching. The vertebra in his back popped at protested at the movement and he winced

“Yeah.” Jace said setting what he hadn’t gotten done down on the desk and putting what he had finished in the chair. Alec led him out of the Institute and towards the Metro station that was down the street. They jumped the turnstiles and headed down to the platform to wait for the next train

“Why don’t we get Magnus to portal us again?” Jace asked, leaning against a brick column as they waited. Alec sighed

“Because he needs to cut back on the amount of magic he uses in order to keep the current location of his apartment secret from Camille.” Alec explained again. Jace grumbled something under his breath that was lost as a train rushed by. Once they were on the train they only had to ride for a few stops before getting off and jumping the barrier again. Magnus’ apartment was only a few blocks away and Alec couldn’t have been more grateful. He was exhausted. When they arrived, Magnus was already in bed so Alec set Jace up with a pillow and a blanket before heading into the bedroom and stripping down to his boxers. Sliding into bed he let Magnus curl around him

“Hey.” Magnus said sleepily

“Jace is sleeping on the couch. Clary is stalking him again.” Alec said and Magnus hummed

“I’ll make him a room in the morning.” Magnus said pressing a small kiss to the back of Alec’s neck. Alec sighed and slipped into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to kudo, cast your vote, and subscribe.


	4. So I numb the pain, And I shut away, Just need another day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from the Unlike Pluto song 'Under The Lights'
> 
> Congratulations everyone. Four people voted. One for each of the options.   
> In this chapter we meet to of the possible contestants of the poll which I AM CLOSING HERE. I have decided to be the tie breaker but I did like the reasons you guys gave for including some of the other OCs and have decided to include all of them to both give myself a bit of creativivity and to expand the amount of characters we have. Also if you guys can't figure out who Jace is going to be with eve better. So in this chapter we are introduced to the vampire and the Shadowhunter OCs. We have already been alluded to the Warlock OC in a previous chapter (see if you can spot that) and I am probably going to include the fey in the next chapter maybe the chapter after if things don't work out the way I plan.
> 
> So this chapter takes place after a time skip. The first three take place in the end of August/beginning of September this  
> one takes place in October.

Simon slipped out of the rain and into the old fashion movie theater. He paid for his ticket and headed to the only theater in the place. He wasn’t actually here for the movie, some old black and white French film, but instead it was a convenient way for him to meet with Magnus and feed. Magnus would portal into the theater with a cooler full of blood packs and Simon would ‘watch’ an old film once a week while scarfing down the human blood. He knew better than to try and take some with him. Even with the temperatures dropping the blood wouldn’t stay good. He hadn’t even noticed as had the year anniversary of him being exiled from the clan, too busy working on avoiding Camille’s goons who were growing increasingly harder to avoid. He knew they were closing in, he usually had a few that were following him each night hoping to catch up with him. He was having to move locations more often and find more creative ways to get around. The subways had become a friend of his, he’d sit on them and ride around the city doing his work instead of sitting in parks. Simon knew this wouldn’t last forever though, soon enough the vampires would catch on to what he was doing and start guarding the platforms. They had almost caught him today, if he hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings they would have, Magnus would have to find a new way of getting his food to him since it was now obvious that they had caught on to the movie theater.

“Good to see you again Sergio. Your late.” Magnus said when Simon slid into the seat at the back of the theater

“We’re going to have to move these meetings again. I had to kill two of Camille’s henchmen a block from here so that I could get here without my usual tail.” Simon said sliding the cooler open and fishing out his first packet. There was always a lot of O- in the cooler, his favorite type, and he wasn’t sure if he had Magnus or Raphael to thank for that. Magnus was always the one who brought him his meals but Simon wasn’t stupid enough to think that Raphael wasn’t the one supplying the blood. The question really was which had noticed Simon’s preference. Not that it mattered, Simon would drink any blood type, he just liked the way that O- was bitter yet still a little sweet. It was like dark chocolate. And Raphael’s blood.

“I’ll find us a new meeting place. Are you sure you don’t want to go back to the Dumort Clan? It’s getting harder to avoid Camille these days.” Magnus said and Simon shook his head

“I’d rather not. Last resort, bleeding and not healing sort of circumstances only.” Simon said and Magnus sighed

“You say that every time that I bring it up and I can’t help but think you’re being far too stubborn. Raphael is working hard to earn your trust back. I do believe he misses you.” Magnus said and Simon choked on his blood

“Raphael doesn’t miss me. Trust me, he can barely look me in the eye when I bring him new vampires from around the city.” Simon said after a minute of coughing.

“I wouldn’t be so sure but I won’t push the subject. I have another safe house for you set up if you need it.” Magnus said and Simon was grateful for the change in topic.

“I’ll use it for now. Most of these vamps know the same hiding spots as I do and some of them know them better. Dark corners are getting harder to keep.” Simon said and Magnus passed him a key. There was a tag attached and even in the dim light of the movie Simon could read that there was an address written on the tag

“When you get there, there will be another key hanging by the door. It’s to another safehouse. When you feel you can’t stay at this house anymore take that key and head there. It will also have a key to another safe house hanging beside the door. Leave the keys behind when you abandon a house. I have a spell on them that will alert me when you have moved on so that I can go in and clean the place.” Magnus said and Simon nodded.

“Thank you, Magnus. I don’t have to tell you to be careful. Camille is dangerous.” Simon said and Magnus grabbed his hand

“Simon, she’s gunning for you for some reason. She’s stopped hunting for my apartment two weeks ago so that she could focus on you. I don’t know what she wants from you but you need to be. Careful. I don’t want to lose you and I know for certain that Raphael doesn’t want to lose you.” Magnus said, his voice dead serious and Simon swallowed hard

“I think I need to go.” Simon said. He scrambled out of the theater even though the movie was only half done. He moved quickly, leaving a false trail across the city before finding himself two blocks from Dumort. Thinking he was safe, he slowed to a human pace. It was a mistake as something collided into the back of his head and his world went black.

 

Raphael was reading reports from the patrols that combed the city for the former leader. She was proving incredibly hard to find, there were too many dark places for her to be hiding in and while he was putting almost all his resources into finding her, he still had to take care of the influx of new vampires that Simon had brought to them. Most of them were malnourished, some were even sick with Black Blood Sickness, a disease that one got when they drank from someone who was already dead. Raphael knew he was doing the best he could but he was still not doing enough.

He needed to find Camille, reports showed increased movement of her pawns in several different areas of the city as if they were looking for something. Or someone. Magnus had told him that she had stopped looking for his apartments and there hadn’t been a direct attack on Dumort in close to a month. It was close to the end of October now, four days until Halloween. Raphael had suspicions for what Camille was doing, who she was searching for but Simon didn’t want much to do with the clan. He had made it very clear every time he brought more vampires into their meeting spots. Raphael had tried to drop hints to Simon that he was wanted at the hotel but Simon just ignored them all, leaving after each group of vampires was accepted. It pained Raphael to watch Simon walk away, to see how Simon had changed from the bright mundane who saw the good in the world and always had something to say into a person who watched silently from where he stood in the shadows. Simon no longer shone with the light of the sun, Raphael had done that to him. Raphael had enshrouded him in the night.

“Lo siento Bebé.” Raphael murmured to the thought of what he had done. He pushed away from his desk and headed out of his office. He didn’t have any real destination in mind but found himself wander down to what had once been a meeting room. Raphael had converted it to a medical room of sorts for the vampires that were sick or had been injured on patrols. The number of injuries had increased but that hadn’t surprised Raphael, they were at war. It was only luck that only three of their clan had been killed so far. Raphael knew that if Camille wasn’t so distracted by her search for Simon that she would no doubt have killed more of Raphael’s clan at this point. Raphael wasn’t sure if his relief in that fact was appropriate. Simon could be captured or worse killed by her and here he was feeling relief that Camille was to busy hunting him to destroy the Dumort clan.

“How are we tonight?” Raphael asked the female vampire who was taking care of a boy who was catatonic on the bed

“We lost one of the older vampires who had the Black Blood Sickness. He was unconscious when he came in and never regained it. I didn’t know his name. Seamus here seems to be getting better. He woke ad was coherent enough to ask for blood but only drank about half a pint. Raoul’s leg healed so I sent him back to his room on light duty and Ruth is sleeping but I’m going to wake her up in about twenty minutes to check on her concussion.” The girl said. Raphael nodded.

“What is your name? I know you were one of the vampire’s Simon brought in but with everything that is going on I don’t remember it.” He asked. The girl blushed lightly

“I’m Abigale. Simon brought me and Seamus in at the same time. He’s not actually my brother but we share a Sire and I took care of him when that sire abandoned us here so he might as well be.” She said and Raphael’s curiosity was peaked

“How long have you been a vampire?” He asked

“I was turned in the seventies. Seamus was turned four years ago. He’s still a fledgling which made our abandonment even harder.” She said running her fingers through the boy’s curly auburn hair. Raphael noted that the boy seemed to push into the touch even in his unconscious state

“I have to ask, were you turned against your will?” Raphael asked and Abigale shook her head

“I was in love with our maker. I thought he would be with me forever. Seamus was dying of AIDS. If Robert hadn’t turned him I would have.” She said and Raphael nodded.

“Thank you. Get some rest and some blood. The sun will be up soon.” Raphael said before leaving the room and heading back to his office.

 

Jace glanced around when he left the abandoned apartment building. The information that Santiago had given had been accurate, there had been a nest. Three other Shax demons had been hiding in an apartment building not far from the hospital. The building had been condemned and Jace had only caused more damage by dropping part of one of the eroding walls onto one of the demons to kill it.

“That was fun.” Nasreen said. Jace grinned at her. She had recently transferred from the Pakistani Institute in Islamabad and Jace found her quick wit and the snarky comments that she made when there was a large meeting to be amusing. Nasreen returned the grin and jerked her chin at the rising sun

“We’d better report this before Lightwood goes home. I’m sure he’ll want to make sure his brother is safe before retiring.” She said and Jace nodded

“Come on, we’ll take the subway.” He said heading towards the nearest station entrance

“I do not understand. Isn’t that a restaurant?” Nasreen asked following. Jace laughed

“It’s also a way of getting around the city. We portaled here but Magnus is busy and probably will rant about how much Alec is working. I don’t feel like dealing with that.” Jace said. Nasreen let out a contemplative noise

“It is a nice night as well.” She said falling into place at Jace’s right. There wasn’t anyone else around and he had to agree that the night was nice. They were having a bit of an Indian Summer so the temperatures were still in the seventies but Jace knew it would get cold soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is on the short side (only a little under 2000) but it hits some important notes and I really wanted to leave you guys in suspense on Simon. If any of you guys noticed I wrote it so that the date in the story line up with today.


	5. Echoes of a city that's long overgrown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart goes out to the synagogue in Pittsburgh. I almost rewrote this chapter because I kinda rag on Simon's dad but in the end he does do the right thing. It'll make sense if you read this chapter. I'm not a believer in a higher being. I'm not much of a believer in much but I do believe that every one should be free to be who they want to be, believe what they want to believe, and say whatever they want to say but once you take action against someone else because of what you believe or what they believe then you go over the line. 
> 
> Go Red Sox.  
> Chapter title comes from the Florence + the Machines song 'Heartlines'

Camille was furious. Two of her pawns dead at her Caramel’s hands and then the morsel goes missing? None of her spies had been able to find the brat but from what she was seeing Raphael didn’t have him nor did the upstart know where her Caramel was. The problem was most worrysome. All signs said that there was now a third player in this fight and yet she couldn’t find anything on them. They were ghosts, shadows in the dark and that vexed her.

“Now where could you be my pretty pet? Hiding from Mummy? Naughty, Naughty.” Camille murmured surveying a magical map of New York City. It showed each of her own people with a red dot, Shadowhunters were each a gold dot, demons a black dot, vampires of the Dumort clan were blue dots, and rogue vampires were green dots. Camille had made it in an effort to find her Caramel but alas, the morsel must have been behind strong wards because he didn’t show up on the map at all! For that fact she had killed the Warlock who had made the map. After all, what good was it when it didn’t lead her to her prey? Unfortunately, she had killed him before the map was complete so Warlocks, Fey, and Werewolves were not included in the dots. It was a shame but Camille wasn’t concerned. Werewolves wouldn’t ever ally themselves with the Dumort clan and the Fey and Warlocks were too busy hiding from Valentine to bother with the war that was brewing between her and that upstart Clan stealing mongrel that was in charge of her city. Before she could really work herself up into a tizzy there was a presence of one of her many subjugates

“Mistress?” A male subjugate asked, standing in the doorway of the office. Camille took a deep breath to calm herself before waving him forward. It would do not good to frighten him even though his fear of her wouldn’t last long. Still, he might go to one of her fledglings for the high of the feed or worse, he might go to one of her lieutenants who she had picked up out of the gutter. They were a vicious lot, not an ounce of refinement in any of them but at the moment she needed followers and supporters. Once she had won she would discard the ones who were too rough around the edges and build her clan from the rest.

“What news of Dumort do you have?” She asked without looking away from the map. The number of blue dots was troubling as they seemed to have doubled since that summer.

“They have taken in two fey siblings who broke away from the Seelie Queen.” The male subjugate said in a trembly voice. It made Camille disgusted, her precious Caramel had never trembled before her. He had pushed back at her at every turn and that was most likely the reason she had turned him. He had tasted so good, so sweet, as a human too. Camille wondered how he tasted now that he had true power as a vampire, now that he was something more than an insect, was he still as sweet? She longed to sink her fangs into his neck and drink. Alas, dear Caramel wasn’t here but the male subjugate was.

“Come, let me reward you for your information.” She purred, luring the idiot in with a crooked finger and a suggestive leer. Once the subjugate was in her grasp she made a great show of finding a perfect spot to sink her fangs in, nuzzling at his neck before finally biting down. This man tasted nothing like her Caramel, salty instead of sweet. Scratchy instead of smooth. Still, Camille had promised the thing a reward. She drank and drank until he was limp in her grasp and there was no blood left in his body. Dropping the corpse on the floor Camille sighed.

“How unsatisfying.” She murmured, turning back to her map.

 

Jace wasn’t terribly nervous about the visit to Dumort. It was pretty routine at this point. Alec would send two Shadowhunters once a month to collect any information that Santiago had on Camille, Valentine, pretty much anyone who was breaking the Accords. Vampires it turned out were good at collecting information, better than Warlocks even though they didn’t have magic. If Jace had to guess, it was probably the fact that their darklings were completely devoted and since they were still mundanes they could move about in both the day and the night. One would look right over one and never think twice. Dumort had darklings, Raphael had never given him an exact number though he supposed that Alec probably knew, and Jace knew each of them chose to be there and could leave at any time. Raphael treated them well and eventually would turn them when they wished it. Still, the idea of the darklings watching the city worried Jace, they weren’t trained to notice things and if a demon attacked them they were helpless to defend themselves. Isabelle often chided him on his outlook on the matter, saying that Raphael wouldn’t put them in danger and that they were exactly where they wanted to be.

Isabelle was accompanying him to Dumort this time as well as Nasreen who was there to watch how things were done. Isabelle and Nasreen had become great friends in the short time that the Pakistani had been in New York and if Jace wasn’t mistaken, Isabelle was developing something of a crush on the other girl. Not that she had told him such but he had noticed that she wasn’t spending as much time in the company of the Seelies and that she was actually sticking around the Institute on her nights off instead of going out partying.

“It is a pleasure to see you again Herondale. I have not organized the information for you yet. Things have been chaos here for the past few days and I did not have time.” Santiago said when Lily led them to him. He was in a hospital of sorts, one that was full of both injured vampires and those who were tending to those who were injured. Jace watched as two vampires held another down long enough for a third to pull a piece of rebar out of the injured vampire’s stomach. Santiago wasn’t working on anything that dangerous but he didn’t look at them, too busy bandaging a wound on another vampire’s arm that looked like it might have been an extremely nasty burn. It made Jace wince in sympathy. He hated burns almost as much as ducks.

“What happened?” Nasreen asked.

“Many things, the most pressing for you would be the fact that we received word that Simon was taken not far from here close to a week ago. It wasn’t Camille but we don’t know who it was exactly. Our sources are still gathering information but we believe there is a third party that is trying to enter the war between me and Camille.” Santiago said turning away from the vampire he was treating. Jace frowned

“Why wasn’t the Institute infomed of this?” He asked and Santiago muttered something in Spanish under his breath

“I haven’t had time. When I’m not out searching I am here bandaging those who have been hurt. We’ve had three demon attacks against the hotel in the past week as well as made two successful raids on Camille’s holdings but none of this was without injury or casualty.” Santiago said and Jace had to back down.

“What have you learned about this third party?” Isabelle asked. Santiago shook his head

“Not here. Come. We’ll take this to my office.” Santiago said leaving the infirmary and leading the three Shadowhunters up to his office.

“The war is revolving around Simon. We knew this already but we didn’t know why.” Santiago said digging through the mess on his desk. He pulled out a worn file and passed it over to Jace who took it with a raised eyebrow. Jace flipped through it and saw that it was a police file on the death of someone named Levi Lewis who died twelve years prior. The cause of death had been ruled an accident, the man had had a heart attack outside of his synagogue and had died before the paramedics had been able to arrive. Jace couldn’t see what the death of a mundane could possibly have to do with Simon and the war when it had happened twelve years before anything had actually started

“What does this have to do with anything?” Jace asked shutting the file. Santiago sighed and shot him a look that said Jace was an idiot

“Levi Lewis was Simon’s father. He also had the Sight but that’s only a part of why he’s important. In my search for Simon’s importance in this war I found that Levi was an upstanding man on the surface who quickly turns dirty when you start to dig. He had a gambling issue but instead of gambling away his own money he was embezzling it from his synagogue. To keep it from being discovered he had a deal with a warlock by the name Tiresias whom he paid with his son Simon. Tiresias was preforming experiments on Simon, what exactly isn’t clear but Simon was never an ordinary mundane.” Santiago said and Jace frowned

“What was so important about this file then? And where is the Warlock now?” Jace asked

“The file states that Levi’s death was a heart attack outside a synagogue, correct? Levi had admitted to his crimes that night to the synagogue’s leaders, I’m not sure exactly what they are called but by doing this he was breaking off his deal with Tiresias and cutting the Warlock off from Simon. I believe that Tiresias killed Levi in hopes that he would then be able to gain access to Simon once Levi was dead and Simon didn’t have him to protect him. However, Simon became friends with Miss Fray shortly after and in a way gained protection from her mother, Garraway and Magnus all at once.” Santiago said

“And the Warlock?” Nasreen asked

“Dead. Valentine got to him before we caught on to what he had done to Simon. We’re still trying to get into his apartment where we believe there are notes about his experiments. Everything we have right now is speculation and what little we could get from Levi’s journals. Simon had them when he came to the hotel and left them here when we exiled him. It was the only reason we found them.” Santiago said. Jace studied him for a moment but the vampire was almost impossible to read so Jace decided to take what he said as the truth. Even if this Tiresias was still alive he wouldn’t be for long. Vampires were vicious when one of their own was hurt or in danger and Jace knew Santiago would do anything he could to protect Simon

“So why does everyone want Simon? This warlock experimented on him when he was human, what does that mean now that he’s a vampire.” Isabelle asked. Santiago turned away from them and began to organize his desk without answering

“If you don’t explain I will drag you to the Institute and have the head of the Institute get answers out of you any way we can. That could take lots of time and would leave your clan vulnerable.” Nasreen threatened. It took Jace by surprise, Nasreen didn’t usually make threats, she preferred to manipulate the situation instead, but when she did she always carried through.

“I always gather four pints of blood from clan members as well as grave dirt. I sent both of those items to Magnus for him to test and we found that Simon has certain markers in his DNA. Markers that are currently dormant but could easily be activated under the right circumstances.” Santiago said. Nasreen opened her mouth to say something when the vampire continued

“Simon has the potential to become a Daylighter. It’s extremely rare, there hasn’t been one in close to three centuries and the process on how to become one has been almost forgotten. The cost if one is mistaken about whether or not the process has succeeded is the death of the subject.” Santiago said and Isabelle’s intake of breath was audible.

“A Daylighter could change the course of the war.” She said and Santiago’s face flashed into pain before settling on a hard grimace

“And with Camille as his Sire she would be able to control him. He would bend to her will even if he didn’t want to.” Santiago said and the severity of everything crashed down on Jace

“It would be like a year ago all over again.” Jace said in shock

“Except this time, it would kill Simon.” Santiago agreed.

 

Clary stepped into the warehouse where she was keeping her pet. He was unconscious of course, the vampires who were working for her had seen to that. How fortunate that she had found that vampires would become addicted to Oleanders if the flowers were crushed into a powder and mixed with their blood. It was wonderful because now she had her own army of vampires who were begging her for their next fix. The information had been in an old journal of a truly ingenious Shadowhunter who had done experiments on vampires and had learned quite a bit about the species. Of course, she had only found the journal because of the punishment detail that Alec had put her on, she had been organizing the library when she had found it.

“How is Simon today?” She asked the vampire she had left in charge. She didn’t know his name and it really didn’t matter, he would die once Simon was back at her side. They all would die once she had found a way to fix the nasty vampirism that plagued her best friend. Once Simon was mundane again he would be begging for her to take him back, for her to let him tag along on her adventures. Everything would be perfect again. She would have her best friend back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we know why Camille is so deadset on getting Simon, we learn that Clary has issues and things start to unfold. Obviously Nasreen is not Jace's love interest but she might be Isabelle's. Hopefully I can introduce the Seelie twins in the next chapter and then maybe the warlock as well. 
> 
> Review, bookmark, subscribe and kudo.


	6. Took the breath from my open mouth, Never known how it broke me down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada, new chapter. 
> 
> Chapter title comes from the song 'Anchor' by Novo Amor

Raphael watched from the street as Shadowhunters, vampires, and werewolves all raided the warehouse that they believed Simon was being kept at. Lucian was standing beside him with the Lightwood siblings on his other side. The screams of their opponents filled the night and Raphael saw each of their opponents who tried to leave turn to ash as they crossed the threshold. Magnus’ doing. Once everything had gone quiet, Raphael led the other leaders into the building. It was dark inside, even to Raphael’s enhanced vision, and there was the smell of blood, death, and drugs everywhere. Trash littered the floor, empty blood bags, crumpled newspaper, discarded needles. Raphael crouched down and picked up one of the needles and sniff the tip.

“Oleander. High concentration of it.” He said earning a confused glance from the eldest Lightwood

“Of course, I was reading in the library once and came across a journal about some guy’s experiments on vampires. He kept them docile with Oleander in their blood, it’s the equivalent of ecstasy for vampires.”  The girl said and Raphael nodded

“It’s also highly addictive. Trying to detox from it is more likely to kill than to succeed.” Raphael added.

“Then let’s hope Simon hasn’t been dosed.” Lucian said. Raphael stood again and they headed further into the warehouse. Boxes made the place a maze, stacked almost to the ceiling. When they finally reached their destination, Raphael was surprised to find that they hadn’t been able to capture any of the vampires.

“What happened?” He asked Lily who scowled

“What happened was as soon as we had tied them up they all started turning to ash. We weren’t able to question any of them.” She said. Raphael turned to Stan who nodded

“I thought I saw something on one of them, like a rune or a fey mark, but wasn’t able to get a good look at it before the guy turned to nothing.” Stan added.

“Have you found Simon?” Raphael asked and both Lily and Stan shared a look

“Yeah, he’s, uh, he’s unconscious right now.” Stan said and Raphael raised an eyebrow

“What happened?” Raphael demanded

“He went insane as soon as we opened the door to where they were keeping him. Tried to tear my throat out so I smashed him on the head and he went down like a sack of bricks.” Lily snapped. Raphael frowned

“Any idea what caused it?” He asked

“His eyes were blown wide from hunger so it could have been that.” Stan said with a shrug

“What aren’t you saying?” The eldest Lightwood snapped

“Some incenses were being burned in the room, nearly caused a couple of our younger clanmates to go crazy too.” Stan said. There was shouting and then a blur raced towards their group. Raphael jumped into action, clashing with the blur until he could subdue it. It was Simon, his eyes blown wide with both hunger and rage as he snarled in Raphael’s grip. Raphael didn’t let go, simply held Simon until he grew tired and lay panting under him

“Simon, bebé?” Raphael asked and the vampire under him let out a high-pitched keen before struggling weakly for a moment. Raphael couldn’t bear to see his cariño in such a state, he shifted until he was holding Simon down with one hand and with the other, he slammed Simon’s head down, knocking him out. Once Simon was unconscious Raphael let him go

“Lily, head back to the hotel and start preparations for the Ritual of Saṃsāra.” Raphael instructed. Lily glanced around at the others before flashing away. Raphael scooped the limp Simon into his arms

“What is the Ritual of Saṃsāra?” Lucian asked and Raphael spared him a glance

“It is an old vampire ritual of cleansing.” Raphael said

“I’ve never heard of it before.” The female Lightwood said. Raphael rolled his eyes and flashed away. He didn’t want to tell them that Simon had a higher chance of dying during the ritual than for it to succeed.

 

Raphael slowly undid the bloody straps that had been holding Simon down. The screams had stopped coming out of the fledgling’s mouth, replaced by soft whimpers, but the echoes of the high-pitched cries still rung in his ears. Simon’s eyes were barely open but Raphael knew the fledgling was aware of his every movement.

“It’s going to be okay mi cariño. We’re almost done, ten paciencia conmigo por favor, this is the worst part.” Raphael murmured, pulling on a pair of thick gloves. Magnus stepped up beside him and passed him a large silver pitcher. Raphael took it with one hand, taking a moment to brush a clump of Simon’s curly brown hair out of his face.

“Rapha.” Simon rasped and the fact that Simon hadn’t been coherent before this point was telling. Raphael longed to press a kiss to Simon’s face but knew he couldn’t. If he did, he might get some of the tainted blood in his mouth, might become addicted himself.

“Lo siento.” Raphael murmured before beginning. He poured the holy water over Simon’s body, washing away the blood that covered him, still oozing from the lacerations. Simon screamed, back arching as he tried to get away from the pain. Raphael didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop no matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much hurting Simon made his own heart hurt. Once the pitcher was empty Magnus took it and gave Raphael another. Simon was only half clean, Raphael needed to pour the holy water over every cut, let it seep into each vein that was exposed. Simon lay panting, eyes closed and body trembling when Raphael was done. The only part of Simon that had been spared the holy water bath was his head.

“Lo siento bebé, the worst part is over now. It’s going to be alright.” Raphael murmured as Magnus magicked away the remains of the holy water from both Simon’s body and the metal table that he lay on. Raphael began to move away, heading to the other side of the room so that he could remove the gloves and his shirt. The next part would be messy, the shirt was one of his favorites and he didn’t want it to get ruined. Simon seemed to sense Raphael’s movements, his eyes sliding open sluggishly and he reached for Raphael with clumsy fingers

“I’ll be right back. I’m not leaving the room, no te preocupes.” Raphael said as he unbuttoned his shirt. Magnus was rubbing an ointment into Simon’s skin, something that would help with the burns that the holy water had left behind. Simon didn’t even seem to notice. Once his shirt was off and neatly folded on the table beside the two empty pitchers, Raphael returned to Simon’s side. The fledgling loosely grasped Raphael’s wrist, his fingers constantly seeming to want to tighten his grasp but being unable to resulting inn an odd fluttering of pressure. Raphael nipped his other wrist, cutting the vein and then held it to Simon’s lips. Simon bit into his wrist almost immediately and Raphael felt him drink several mouthfuls before he pulled his wrist away. Simon let out a whine but Raphael ignored him. Carefully, he lifted Simon’s upper body off the metal surface and slid in behind him, resting his back against the wall. He nosed against Simon’s neck before biting down. Simon leaned into the initial bite and Raphael had to admit that it was probably because Raphael had bitten Simon many times when they were together

“It’s going to be alright bebé, no te preocupes.” Raphael murmured into Simon’s ear before biting down. As soon as Raphael started to pump venom into the baby vampire the screaming started up again. Raphael kept a hold on Simon’s head so that he wouldn’t hurt the fledgling but his free arm he wrapped around Simon’s chest, pulling the other vampire close to him. Simon dug his claws into Raphael’s leg with one hand and reached back to bury his fingers into Raphael’s hair with the other. Raphael could feel Simon’s body die in his arms. Though the fledgling hadn’t struggled much there had been quite a bit of tension in his body. Slowly, the fledgling slumped in Raphael’s grip, the claws that had punctured his leg retracted and slid to the table on the outside of Raphael’s leg, the tension in the throat under Raphael’s fangs gave out, and the hand in his hair laid to rest limply on Raphael’s shoulder. It was only then that Raphael realized Simon hadn’t been mindlessly screaming. He had been screaming a word. A name. Raphael’s name.

“Lo siento, mi sol naciente, lo siento.” Raphael murmured into the fledgling’s neck. As expected, there was no reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you've read the original you might notice that the end of this chapter might seem really familiar. That is because I based it off of my favorite part of the original and the next chapter will probably run pretty close to the fourth chapter in the original


	7. When you close your eyes, You can see the day rewind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from the Skylar Grey song 'I Will Return'
> 
> To the person who I talked to on SWTOR, I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for the subscription

Raphael sat beside the freshly dug grave. Worry ate at him as the minutes ticked by and there were still no signs of life. Had he done something wrong? Would this be the end of the fledgling? Finally, the dirt began to shift as the fledgling dug his way out. Pale, bony hands pushed through the dirt slowly, as if the digger had little energy. Raphael watched Simon struggle until he couldn’t take it anymore and began to dig as well. He carefully pulled Simon’s gaunt body from the grave. The ritual took so much from Simon, his body looked like a skeleton his skin stretched over the bone and tendons of his shoulder and the fact that his collar bone was sticking out of his skin like a beacon. His eyes were half lidded but he was completely focused on Raphael. As if Simon was a baby bird, Raphael cradled him to his chest, pressing the fledgling’s mouth to his neck.

“Drink, Bebè. You must drink.” Raphael ordered as he felt Simon mouthing at his unbeating pulse point but not breaking the skin. Fear flashed through Raphael at the thought that Simon was too weak to break the skin but finally fangs slowly pierced skin and Simon began to drink.

Raphael shifted them into a comfortable position, him leaning against the gravestone, Simon cradled against his chest drinking slowly, and a cooler filled with blood packets for himself to drink when Simon began to take too much.  Simon was clutching Raphael’s jacket like a lifeline as he shivered. Raphael let Simon drink as much as he could, draining a blood packet whenever he felt lightheaded. Finally, Simon detached with a sigh. The shivers hadn’t stopped which worried Raphael but he hoped they would pass.

“What happened?” Simon asked softly, his voice was rough like he had just woken up. Raphael ran his fingers through Simon’s hair, displacing dirt that had been clumped there

“You were taken by a third party of vampires. They were drug addicts who got you addicted as well. We had to detox you and it wasn’t pleasant.” Raphael said and Simon pressed closer to his chest. Raphael tucked Simon’s head under his chin and stroked along Simon’s bare arm with feather light touches

“Why am I naked Rapha?” Simon asked and Raphael chuckled

“Have you ever tried to get a dead body into clothing? It’s nearly impossible. Easier to bury you naked and have you get dressed once you had come back.” Raphael said and Simon sighed

“It’s not like it’s nothing you haven’t seen before anyways.” He said and Raphael had to agree. He had seen all of Simon before the betrayal. They lay together for a few moments before Simon’s self-consciousness got the best of him

“Can I get dressed now?” He asked and Raphael untangled them. He knew Simon would probably still be far too weak to dress himself. He helped Simo pull on a pair of pants before taking one of his own black button-up shirts. Simon seemed to relax at the scent of Raphael’s shirt and it gave Raphael hope that their relationship wasn’t completely destroyed. Simon reached out to Raphael and used the Latino vampire as leverage to haul himself up to his feet. Leaning heavily on Raphael, Simon looked around

“This isn’t the same cemetery as when I was buried originally.” Simon said sounding confused

“It’s not. Camille had sentries posted around that part of town. We couldn’t bury you in any Jewish cemetery.” Raphael said. Simon made a noise of distress

“Whose grave was I buried in then? Please tell me you didn’t bury me in some random person’s grave.” Simon said, his rising anxiety evident in his voice

“We buried you in my grave. It’ll weaken any hold Camille could have over you.” Raphael said begrudgingly. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Simon to know that he had been buried in the same grave that Raphael had resurrected from, it was more of he didn’t want Simon to think that he would now have a hold over Simon

“Oh, okay. Does that make you my sire as well?” Simon asked and Raphael rolled his eyes

“Dios. No idota, it just means that because we share grave dirt that I will be able to find you no matter where you are in the city.” Raphael said. Simon let out a sigh

“Okay. Can we go home now?” He asked. Raphael realized he was probably exhausted. Between dying for a second time, digging his way out of the grave, and the emotional upheaval that he must have gone through Simon had to be ready to sleep for at least a decade.

“Sí, lets go home.” Raphael agreed. He led Simon over to a red pick up truck and helped him climb into the passenger’s seat before going back and getting the cooler and the shovel. He tossed them both into the bed of the truck and climbed into the driver’s seat. Glancing over at Simon before starting up the vehicle he wasn’t surprised to find the fledgling fast asleep.

 

Simon looked around his room at Dumort. It hadn’t changed in all the time he had been away. Not even dust had gathered on any of the surfaces. Simon wondered who had dusted, probably Stan. Lily still hated him if the cold greeting they had gotten when they arrived that night had been any indicator. Slowly, Simon pushed the thick covers off his legs and carefully stood up. He started with the posters that littered the walls, tearing them down with no care if he ripped them. They were so juvenile, he had been such a child. So uncaring of what consequences his actions would have on himself and others. After all the posters were crumpled in a heap in the corner he started going through the papers on the desk, they had been shuffled into piles and he carefully went through each paper. He crumpled most of them into balls and tossed them into the pile in the corner. They were stupid lyrics for songs that he would never sing, lyrics that didn’t mean anything to anyone. Lyrics written by someone who wasn’t him anymore. A knock at the door forced Simon to realize he had zeroed in on the angry swirling thoughts in his head and had lost focus on his surroundings. He hobbled over to the bed and hurried to tuck himself back in

“Come in.” He called. A boy came in with a cup in his hands

“Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me. You got me and my friend a place here, I was really sick at the time.” The kid said with a shy grin. His face seemed familiar but Simon had helped so many rogue vampires get into Dumort that he couldn’t remember them all as he had gotten most seen in large groups.

“Sorry, you seem familiar but it’s been a rough night.” Simon said diplomatically. The boy blushed making his freckles stand out even more

“I’m Seamus. My sister is Abigale.” The boy said, his curly auburn hair flopping into his face as he looked down. Simon watched the boy for a moment

“Here, uh, Stan said that you would need to drink a couple more times during the day but someone on the day watch will bring them.” Seamus said thrusting the cup at Simon

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked taking the cup. Seamus shrugged but didn’t move to leave

 “Abigale went out on a patrol tonight and they haven’t come back yet. The sun’s coming up in half an hour.” Seamus said softly. Simon felt a pang of sympathy. He knew it must be rough on the other vampire to lose someone he was so obviously close to. He had called this Abigale his sister so they were probably turned by the same vampire

“Wanna keep me company?” Simon asked scooting closer to the wall. Seamus looked up at him in shock but Simon sent him an encouraging smile and patted the spot next to him. Seamus climbed into the spot and curled into Simon’s side

“I had AIDS when I was turned, was close to dying. Abigale was my angel, she begged her sire to turn me so that I wouldn’t die. My real parents kicked me out when they learned I was gay. The Irish tend to be into heterosexual relationships, something about lots of kids and all that.” Seamus said softly as Simon drank his blood

“I wouldn’t know. I never told my mother that I was pansexual.” Simon said softly passing Seamus the empty cup to put on the nightstand. Seamus set it where it was supposed to go and then burrowed deeper into Simon’s side.

“I was only turned a few years ago. My Mum’s still alive but my Pa passed away last year of a heart attack. Too much rum, I guess. I have two sisters and three brothers. Ennis is the oldest now and sometimes I still call him. None of them knew I got AIDS which makes things easier, I guess. They don’t expect me to keel over and die any time soon. I wish I could still talk to my younger sister Ester but she cut off all connection to me when I left. She thinks I abandoned her and the family.” Seamus said and Simon carefully wrapped his arms around the other fledgling

“How old were you when you were diagnosed with AIDS?” He asked and Seamus shuttered

“I always had a weaker immune system; my mum had a rough pregnancy since she was only nineteen when she had me. Saul, my first boyfriend gave the HIV virus to me when I was thirteen. He was sixteen and I though that it was safer to experiment with someone who was older and knew what they were doing. Didn’t know he had HIV. At the time I was still in the closet, it wasn’t until I was sixteen that I got outed. My parents kicked me out then. I developed AIDS a year or so later and it spiraled down rapidly for about until Robert turned me a month before my nineteenth birthday.” Seamus said softly. Simon stroked through his hair

“I didn’t have an uncurable disease, I didn’t even ask to be turned. I was friends with the wrong people, in the wrong place at the wrong time. The old clan leader, Camille, turned me because she was bored and I was there. I was leverage for a rare object, something that is now in the hands of Valentine I think.” Simon said

“That almost seems worse. Not having a choice and only becoming a vampire because someone was bored.” Seamus said with a yawn. Simon’s internal clock said that it was about sunrise.

“Can I stay here?” Seamus asked and Simon nodded. Seamus seemed like a child still, probably because he was still a fledgling and unlike Simon, he had had someone to look out for him while he had been on the streets. He hadn’t had a kill order on his head either. As Seamus curled into his side, Simon let himself pretend he too was still a naive little fledgling who didn’t need to grow up so soon.

 

Jace stood in front of Dumort, the sun shining down on his back and his hand raised to knock. Before his fist could make contact the door was opened by a pale looking man whom Jace figured was a Darkling.

“Master Raphael said that I was to take you to his study.” The man said in a dull voice. Jace followed the man through the hotel, noting that there was more activity than normal today. Usually most the clan slept during the day since most their forces were needed at night when Camille was able to attack.  Once he was in Santiago’s office with the door shut he pulled the file out of his leather jacket

“It’s confirmed. Abigale Duvet is indeed a spy for Camille.” He said passing the file over. Santiago scanned it before snapping it shut

“She’s also gone. I sent her out on a patrol in Harlem, none of that team reported in after two and never made it back to the hotel before dawn.” Santiago said. Jace raised an eyebrow

“What were they doing in Harlem?” He asked and Santiago pinched the bridge of his nose

“There was reports that Camille had a base there, I sent a team of four to scout the area and report back.” He said. Jace nodded

“Has anyone told Seamus?” Jace asked and Santiago shook his head

“I wanted to get confirmation on Miss Duvet and I’m still not sure if he can be trusted, she was the closest thing to family that he had.” The head vampire said. Jace frowned

“You can’t just tell him nothing. He will get suspicious and start to dig on his own if he doesn’t get answers.” Jace said and Santiago raised an eyebrow

“I didn’t know you two knew each other.” He said pointedly

“We’ve talked some. He’s friendly, doesn’t have the same suspicions about Shadowhunters that most vampires have. Probably because he’s still a fledgling.” Jace said bluntly with a shrug. Santiago got a calculating look on his face

“What if I sent him to the Institute with you. He doesn’t have much knowledge about the Clave’s laws and it would be good for him to learn.” Santiago said. Jace caught on almost immediately

“And it would allow us to keep an eye on him in case he was working with his sister.” Jace added. Santiago nodded.

“I’m also going to send to Seelies with him. A pair of twins. They fled from the Seelie Queen’s court because they do not agree with her stance on the war.” Santiago said

“And what is the Seelie Queen’s stance on the war?” Jace asked, shifting into parade rest

“Officially she stands neutral but, unofficially, Valentine has learned her true name and is manipulating her from the shadows.” Santiago said. Jace let out a long sigh. This was turning into a clusterfuck of a mess

“Yeah, I’ll have Alec write up the papers of sanctuary for them.” Jace said. Santiago nodded

“I’ll send the three over tonight with an escort. It’ll seem less suspicious then portaling them in during the day.” Santiago said in a clear dismissal. Jace nodded and left the office, heading for the exit. He could feel many eyes on him as he made his way through the hotel but he didn’t pay them any attention, his mind too focused on what he would say to Alec about them taking in a vampire fledgling who may or may not be in contact with Camille. Most of the Institute would want to torture the boy until he confessed, even if the confession was a false one. Alec would do everything he could to protect Seamus but if the fledgling was truly a traitor then he would also be the first to stab a stake through the boy’s heart. Alec was ready for this war to be over. Everyone was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review, kudo, subscribe and bookmark. 
> 
> I have already decided that this story will only cover the war with Camille and maybe set up for one with Clary. There is the idea for a sequel covering the fight with Clary and possibly the war with Valentine.


	8. Sun won't rise for our morning, you can come back from the dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wen't on vacation during Thanksgiving break to visit my sister in New York City. I had a lot of fun but didn't have a lot of time to write until the flight back. I'm not so sure about this chapter but it's important for Seamus' character development and just moving the story along. In the next chapter I will have more actual plot but don't quote me on that, I might have to write a bit more filler before that
> 
> Chapter title comes from the song 'Casualty' by Hidden Citizens

Simon sat in a quiet room that didn’t seem used too often. He was so tired of everyone trying to talk to him, crowd close to him, or touch him. The time he had spent on the streets had made him unused to these things and with his body being so fragile his instincts were screaming that he needed to hide in order to grow stronger. Raphael wouldn’t let him out of the hotel, something that hadn’t bothered Simon at first but as he grew stronger it began to irritate him more. Simon had been trapped here for a week now, not able to get out and wander like he always did when things got overwhelming. He didn’t even have his cell anymore. Stan had gotten him a new, better laptop on the second evening that Simon had been there and so Simon had been able to continue editing the camera footage from around the city but even that grew boring after time. A knock on the door to Simon’s hiding spot jolted him out of his thoughts and Simon lifted his head from where it rested on his knees. The door opened and Raphael stepped into the dark room

“What’s wrong Bebè?” Raphael asked. He didn’t move from the mouth of the room

“I’m bored.” Simon said softly and Raphael made a crooning noise.

“Lo siento Bebè. I’ve been busy. Why don’t we go for a walk?” Raphael said stepping further into the room and Simon perked up

“Can we go to a park?” He asked and even though he couldn’t see Raphael’s face he knew he had raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“I don’t see why not. We need to get you a new phone as it is anyway.” Raphael said. Simon climbed off the table that he had been sitting on and let the clan leader lead him out of the room towards his office

“I need to grab my phone and you should grab a jacket. It’s snowing so we will need to pretend that we get cold.” Raphael said and Simon nodded. He hurried to his room and grabbed a thick brown jacket and a deep blue wool scarf that were in his closet. He wasn’t sure who had donated them to him, there was a lot of people in the hotel now and Simon knew most of them hadn’t had much when they arrived. He wondered how much the clan spent on clothing these days.

He met Raphael at the door and wound the scarf around his neck

“Buen. Let’s go.” Raphael said. Simon followed him out of the hotel, shoving his hands into his pockets to hide how they were shaking with anticipation.

“How is Seamus doing?” Simon asked once they were away from the hotel. Raphael had been keeping Simon updated on the other fledgling. Simon didn’t agree with sending him to the Institute, stating that they would treat him as an inferior. Raphael had been forced to agree when a fight had broken out on Seamus’ second night there and Seamus had been injured by two Shadowhunters who had jumped him. Raphael had pulled him from the Institute and sent him to Magnus’ instead.

“He’s doing better, I think. Magnus told him about Abigale’s betrayal and he had a few rough nights but I believe that he did not have anything to do with Camille and truly didn’t know anything about his sister’s true allegiance.” Raphael said. Simon grinned.

“Does that mean he’s coming back to the hotel soon?” He asked and Raphael shook his head

“He has chosen to stay with Magnus for a bit. I believe it is easier for him to pretend that Abigale didn’t exist there since he didn’t live there with her.” Raphael said. Simon frowned. It wasn’t healthy for Seamus to pretend that Abigale hadn’t existed. She had been important to him, the reason he had been turned. He had probably put her up on a pedestal, thought she was this perfect person. Now that that image had been destroyed Simon knew he would need someone to be there for him

“Can we visit him? It doesn’t have to be tonight but I understand what he’s going through. I might be able to help.” Simon asked.

“Sì, Bebè, I will ask Magnus if we can visit later this week.” Raphael said and Simon let the matter drop. They walked in quiet for a time, Simon enjoyed the fresh air and the feel of the moon on his skin. The air was crisp and sharp, burning his nose with each inhale. Raphael didn’t seem to mind the cold either, letting Simon lead them in random patterns around the city. They stopped by a Version with a rune carved into the sign stating that it was a Downworld friendly store in order to get Simon a new phone. The Warlock who was working flirted shamelessly with Raphael even though the clan leader’s expression never changed from its bored neutral expression. When they left, Simon linked their hands together, weaving his fingers into Raphael’s as if to show his claim on the other vampire. Raphael didn’t comment on it but he didn’t pull his hand away either. Simon counted it as a win.

 

Raphael sat in his office when the call came

“Hijo, I’m about to portal in, Seamus was attacked by another vampire and needs his clan.” Was all Magnus said to him before hanging up the phone. Raphael didn’t bother to adhere to the clan rule of no flashing within the hotel but instead flashed down to the medical room where there was already a glimmery, purple portal. Magnus came through moments later carrying a humanoid figure that was dripping blood.

“Mary, get as much blood as you can carry, Rob go help her. Whitney, get ready to put some stitches in, he’s going to take time to heal and will need them. Ethan, find Stan and tell him we are at high alert and to recall any clan members that are outside the hotel.” Raphael began to bark orders as Magnus laid Seamus down on an empty bed. Everyone jumped to do what he ordered as the entire room devolved into a flurry of motion. Raphael was halfway through stitching up one of the gashes on Seamus’ stomach when he thought of Simon

“Papa, go get the Bebè.” Raphael ordered over his shoulder. Magnus immediately began to protest

“He’s too young. Sherman doesn’t need to see this.” Magnus said and Raphael let out a low growl

“Simon has become the closest thing to family to Seamus. He needs to be here. Go get him.” Raphael snapped. There was a moment where he thought Magnus wasn’t going to listen but he heard the warlock leave the room and returned his attention back to Seamus. They had just finished stitching up the gashes that were the worst when Simon rushed into the room.

“Is he going to be okay?” Simon asked and Raphael nodded

“Sì, mi corazon, he’s going to need a friendly face when he wakes.” Raphael said. He stood and moved away from the bed, stripping the nitrile gloves and tossing them into a trash can that stood near the door. The others could continue with the stitches without him. Magnus had come back with Simon as well as Stan

“How many of our clan is still in the city?” Raphael asked Stan who passed him a tablet showing the multitude of sensors and cameras in and around the hotel. Their security extended five blocks in all directions and it had been enhanced by Magnus’ magic when Camille had escaped.

“We have two groups still outside the territory, one was at a club in lower Manhattan and are on their way back as we speak the other was a patrol in Harlem who were with three Shadowhunters taking care of a demon nest. They have relayed that the Shadowhunters are going to escort them back in order to get a report to take back to Lightwood.” Stan said. Raphael nodded

“How big is the group coming from the club?” He asked

“Five, I sent a group with bikes to pick them up so they won’t be moving on the ground.” Stan said and Raphael weighted the risks but had to agree. Sending bikes to pick up their clanmates was less dangerous than their clanmates moving on foot. As far as Raphael knew they still controlled the dealers who sold the flying bikes. However, if the bikes fell into the hands of Camille’s followers then they would have to start patrolling the sky around the hotel and that would risk exposure to the mundanes.

“Papa, I need to know everything that happened.” Raphael said turning to Magnus.

“Shouldn’t we wait for the Shadowhunters to arrive?” Magnus asked

“I need to know how much information to give them. I cannot do that if I do not know what happened.” Raphael said. Magnus got the look that said he didn’t agree with what was going on and before he could open his mouth and protest Raphael held up his hand

“While the Nephilim have been more helpful in the past few years, they do not have the best interests of my clan in the forefront of their minds. Need I remind you that they knew of countless times that Camille broke the accords and did nothing. One of _my_ clan members might is laying in the bed over there and I do not know when he will wake if he ever does. Tell. Me. What. Happened.” Raphael stated coldly.

“Very well. Seamus was feeling cooped up and I had just finished a potion for a client and needed to deliver it so I suggested that we take a walk and I would show him some of my favorite places around the city. We had just stopped by the dinner down on 5th Ave and I was telling him about how I probably could get him into the Met another time if he wanted to see the paintings, which he was interested in, when three vampires came out of nowhere. Seamus recognized one, a woman. He called her Abigale and moved towards her when they attacked him. It took me a moment to react because I had not been expecting it and cast a protection bubble around him. When they realized that I was there they flashed away.” Magnus said and Raphael had to admit that he had told the account with very little extra unnecessary information.

“Thank you, Papa. Abigale was a member of our clan until it became evident that she was a traitor working for Camille and she fled. Seamus came to our clan with her but had no knowledge of her true loyalties which has been made clear with this attack.” Raphael said

“She must have been told that she had to kill him to become a part of Camille’s clan. It’s a tactic that Camille has used before. If she thinks that there is anything that might pull one of her people away from her, she’ll set that person the task of removing the threat. Either they do it and she would reward them by giving them a position or they fail.” Magnus said.

“What happens to them when they fail?” Mary asked coming up to stand beside Stan she had been stitching up the last bit on Seamus and now was cleaning up while listening to them discuss the report. There was a moment where no one replied before Raphael spoke up

“It depended on her mood. If she was in a good mood, they got another chance. If she was in a bad mood they were often disposed of and sometimes if she was feeling indifferent then she would ignore them for a time.” He said. Mary’s pale face grew paler and she made a cross. Raphael understood the sentiment, most of those who failed never saw the moon again. Camille didn’t suffer the cowardly or the weak.

 

Jace felt his stomach drop out of his gut when he saw who had been attacked. Seamus lay on the bloodstained sheets, paler than any vampire that Jace had ever seen. He looked so fragile, covered in silver lines where there had been gashes. The scars would fade with time but Jace knew with scars like these they would never go away completely.

“I’ll tell Alek that you’re going be a bit longer.” Nasreen said placing a hand on Jace’s shoulder comfortingly. Jace nodded but didn’t move closer to the bed. He didn’t move at all, not even when Simon asked him if he wanted to sit beside Seamus. Jace just stood there and stared at the boy who seemed far to innocent for the world he found himself in. One of the other vampires went to touch Jace but was stopped by Raphael who said something. Jace couldn’t hear anything but the pounding of his own heart and the growing ringing noise that threatened to suffocate him. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there until it all became too much and he was rushing from the hotel. Behind him he could hear Nasreen calling after him but he wasn’t really listening. He ran, pushing people out of his way and dodging cars as he tried to outrun his demons. Echoing in his head were his father’s words. Love is weakness.


	9. I hope that fate will forgive us for tempting the sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I'm not dead yet. I went on a couple vacations, played video games and passed my college classes. I was working on my stories just very slowly and now have this lovely chapter for you....I hope you enjoy your new year.
> 
> Chapter title and lyrics in story come from the song 'Used to Be' by Arrows to Athens. I love this band and strongly recommend it to everyone.

Simon sat in what would have been the restaurant of the hotel listening to the rain pound on the windows that were covered in wood. The place was mostly empty, an few tables, some chairs in various states of decay. There was water damage on the floor, the stain reminding Simon of an oil in water. It was close to three in the afternoon but he couldn’t sleep. They were taking the stitches out of Seamus today. Seamus who had yet to say a word to anyone since he had regained consciousness. Who pretended to sleep when Simon visited. Simon wasn’t sure why fate loved to hate him, to give him something only to tear it away again. Simon was lucky he had gotten the clan back, that he had been able to keep those who he still called friends. He wasn’t sure what he would have done without Luke, the werewolf had been a lifesaver when Simon had felt that he had nothing. Simon could never find a way to repay the favors that Luke had called in for Simon, never be able to make up for all the lies that Luke had told to protect him.

“Bebè?” Simon turned to Raphael who was standing in the doorway. He hadn’t realized the Raphael was there until he spoke

“Are you okay?” Raphael spoke again. Simon shrugged, returning his attention to the water stain on the floor. He heard the clan leader enter the area hesitantly. Since Seamus’ attack everyone had been walking on eggshells around him, waiting for him to cry or attack them or something. Simon wasn’t sure what the proper response to one’s friend getting attacked was, he knew the numbness that had sunk into his bones wasn’t right but he couldn’t figure out how to feel again.

“Do you think this is my fault? Maybe if I hadn’t been so stupid, if I had trusted you more than Clary, maybe I wouldn’t be worried about this war. About Camille.” Simon said looking down at the song lyrics that he had written. The notebook sat in his lap, the pencil discarded on the floor by his knee.

“I do not know what would have happened if you had not let Camille out. I’m sure your Shadowhunter friend would have let her out even you had been able to resist her runes. I do not see this as your fault though, nothing is your fault in these events. The blame lies on her and Camille, on those who seek to control or destroy anything that they want.” Raphael said, crouching down in order to take Simon’s hand. He rubbed soothing circles on the back and Simon leaned into his side, burying his face into Raphael’s ribs. Raphael let him, wrapping his arms around Simon’s head when the sobbing started. Simon couldn’t stop the heartbreaking sobs from escaping himself, he had held them in for months pretending to be strong because weakness would have gotten him killed. Raphael held him through the tears and once the sobs had turned to hiccups, he sat beside Simon and wiped his face. Simon fingered one of the holes he had just put into Raphael’s jacket, his claws having sunk into the material as he cried and put five holes in each side

“I ruined another jacket.” Simon said softly and Raphael chuckled

“I don’t mind Bebè. You are more important than my wardrobe.” Raphael said gently. Simon let out a little sigh and let Raphael take care of him.

 

Raphael carried Simon to the penthouse suite and lay him on the couch. He should have taken the fledgling to his own room but after finding him in the old restaurant with only a thin layer of wood between him and the city outside the hotel it felt better to have his fledgling close for the rest of the day. He settled into the couch beside the sleepy fledgling and spread out the papers. Camille was due for another attack on the hotel, especially now that she knew for certain that Simon was here.

“Tunnels.” Simon said sleepily, shifting to point at a point near the far corner of the hotel

“Què?” Raphael said and Simon shifted

“There’s an access tunnel to the subways three feet from this corner. Across the alley. It’s not on your map.” Simon said tapping the spot he knew the access door to be at. Raphael frowned and marked it down. It didn’t make sense for it to not be on the map; these had been Camille’s maps though and she had always been impossible to figure out. She might have left them off the map for a reason or she could have just not put them on because she didn’t feel like it. Raphael made note to send a subjugate out to investigate them as soon as he was done checking for any other mistakes. Once he was sure that there was nothing else, he called Stan and relayed the order for one of their subjugates to check out the tunnel and to make sure that no one could get through it. Settling back to wait for the report he stroked through Simon’s hair, listening to the rain. Simon was mostly asleep already and began to purr as he relaxed further. The noise startled Raphael at first, he hadn’t heard the sound of his Bebè’s purr since before Simon had been exiled. A flash of regret shot through Raphael at the mere thought of how he had treated the fledgling. Simon had been forced to grow up far to fast, do things that he should not have had to do. Raphael blamed himself for the things that had happened to Simon on the streets, if he had not been so blinded by his feelings then maybe Simon would have been able to come back and explain. Maybe he would have been spared the pain and suffering that he had gone through.

“Mm, stop thinking so much Rapha.” Simon murmured, nuzzling Raphael’s knee and wrapping a arm around Raphael’s leg. The though of being a pillow was slightly insulting but Raphael pushed that feeling away and let himself just enjoy Simon being so close. Raphael was almost asleep when Simon shifted and the notebook he had been writing in slipped out of his pocket. Curiosity overwhelmed Raphael and so he carefully picked it up and flipped through it. Some of the pages were drawings, things and people around the hotel. There was also lyrics to songs that Simon was writing and Raphael paused at one page where there was both a drawing and lyrics. The drawing was of him from the shoulders up and the drawing captured the amused look that Raphael sometimes got when Simon did something. The lyrics were much deeper and more melancholy and he carefully read them to himself

_“Take a breath_

_Take a long look around before you step_

_'Cause the tide is coming, swallowing the ground_

_And there's no way to tell if we will drown tonight_

_Or we'll be found tonight_

_Come in close_

_If the current gets us, then it gets us both_

_And we can't wait here anymore-_

_[Pre-Chorus]_

_So if the waves come, let 'em take us_

_As they cover you and me, and they pull us underneath_

_[Chorus]_

_I hope that fate will forgive us for tempting the sea_

_I hope that they won't forget us_

_But we cannot go back to the way it used to be_

_[Verse 2]_

_Take it in_

_Take a good look at what it might have been_

_As we're swept into the water from the shore_

_Because there's no way they can tell us that we can't have more_

_Because we can have more_

_[Pre-Chorus]_

_As the waves come, let 'em take us_

_As they cover you and me, and they pull us underneath_

_[Chorus]_

_I hope that fate will forgive us for tempting the sea_

_I hope that they won't forget us_

_No we cannot go back to the way it used to be_

_[Bridge]_

_So certain where it would take us_

_So sure that we were never lost_

_To notice whether we'll be drowned tonight or found tonight_

_[Pre-Chorus]_

_So as the waves come, let 'em take us_

_As they cover you and me, and they pull us underneath_

_It takes the shape of who will save us_

_When it leaves it's hard to know_

_But I will not let you go_

_[Chorus]_

_I hope that fate will forgive us for tempting the sea_

_I hope that they won't forget us_

_No we cannot go back to the way it used to be_

_I hope that they won't forget us_

_No we cannot go back to the way it used to be”_

The lyrics were sad but seemed to speak of hope too. Raphael knew somehow the song was about the two of them and everything they had gone through. In a way it helped Raphael ease the guilt that ate at him. If Simon didn’t hold him accountable, he shouldn’t either. Raphael closed the notebook and gently placed it on the coffee table. He slipped out of Simon’s grip and carefully scooped the fledgling up and carried him into the bedroom. The rain had picked up, wind whistling outside the windows as icy water poured down from the sky. Raphael laid Simon down in the bed and climbed in as well after shucking off his shoes and jacket. Simon curled into his side, resting his head on Raphael’s chest and letting out a soft noise of contentment. Raphael wrapped one arm around Simon’s shoulder and stroked up and down his arm while he listened to the rain.

 

Clary stood watching the fireworks light up the night. It was now the new year, a new beginning for her. She knew the Institute wouldn’t even notice she was gone, most of them were out dealing with the big attack on Dumort that had happened earlier that night.

_‘Those poor vermin. Well, they’ll have to find a new home now.’_ She thought to herself with a smirk. Who knew fireworks could be so flammable, so destructive. She would definitely have to thank that little shop in New Jersey for selling them to her. Such a lovely couple. So naive.

 

Simon couldn’t believe that the hotel was gone. Most the clan had already been awake but that hadn’t saved everyone.

“How bad was it?” Simon asked Stan who had just finished up the headcount. Stan’s grim face told Simon that the casualties had been higher than they had originally thought

“Dear God.” Simon murmured

“We lost two thirds of the clan, mostly our members who hadn’t had any plans for the night and hadn’t gotten up yet.” Stan said. Simon felt a vice grip his unbeating heart

“Did…Seamus…was…” He choked out, unable to get a sentence out without his brain shying away from the thought. Simon didn’t want the other fledgling to be dead, not after all that Seamus had gone through.

“I don’t know. Magnus told me he had twenty of ours at his apartment but not who. There’s another five being taken care of by the werewolves and ten of us here at the Institute.” Stan said. Simon sunk down to the floor, the world around him spinning.

“Simon?” Stan asked and Simon snapped his head up

“What’s the news on Rapha?” He asked, his voice scratchy with the unshed tears

“Still in surgery. He’s going to have a long recovery if we don’t get more blood.” Stan said and Simon sighed

“I want everyone who is able to get here to get here. Alec said that they would refurbish the basement for us for as long as we need it and I don’t like our clan being split up.” Simon said and Stan nodded

“Right. I’ll send the word out.” He said before squeezing Simon’s shoulder. Simon dropped his head into his arms when Stan left and let a few of the tears out. He didn’t have long to cry before two Shadowhunters came up to him reporting that they had found three more survivors in the wreckage. Simon listened to them numbly before nodding that he was consenting to their surgeries and the Shadowhunters were gone. Beside Simon sat the box of grave dirt that Raphael had shoved into his arms before ordering him to get out of the hotel. The memories of the fire would haunt Simon, the fact that the sun hadn’t yet been low enough when it had started and those who had tried to escape first had been killed by the sun. Simon had been in the kitchen and had started pushing people towards the basement where the stone walls would offer more protection. They were still digging through the remains of the hotel to get to those who might be stuck in the basement. Still digging through the ashes of those Simon had called family. Simon numbly dug through the bags of grave dirt until he found the one he had been looking for. Clutching Raphael’s dirt in his hands Simon began to stumble through the pattern of prayers that he had heard Raphael pray every Sunday. He didn’t have a rosary, or even a cross. All he had was Raphael’s grave dirt and the need for Raphael’s strength to persist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was probably not what you were expecting. I hope you tell me what you think in the comments. I've recently started using Tumblr again after the shit they pulled but don't expect me to be on quite as much. If you do decide to find me there my username is TwistedMetalTrees. Please leave a kudo, subscribe, and bookmark this work if you enjoyed it so far.


	10. Anything but gently down the stream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I can't believe we're on chapter ten. This chapter didn't come out the way I had planned, I'm not totally pleased with it but I couldn't figure out how to get it the way I wanted it. We learn a little about Simon's street days, the Daylighter stuff gets brought up again and Clary is being devious.
> 
> Chapter title comes from the song 'War' by Former Vandal.

Simon frowned at the reports he was going through. Paperwork was not his strong suit but Raphael had yet to gain consciousness and so everything was falling to Simon. How Simon had gotten the position he wasn’t sure.

“Hey.” A voice said from behind him and it took him several minutes to realize it was Seamus. He looked so small in a large turtleneck sweater and Simon smiled tiredly at him

“Hey. How are you feeling?” Simon asked and Seamus came to sit beside him

“’m tired mostly. Doctor Lightwood says I should get some exercise though so I’ve been wandering around the place.” Seamus said curling up in the chair, knees pulled to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs and chin resting on the top of his knees. He was barefoot and whoever had given him the sweatpants he wore was several inches taller than him as well. Simon was glad to see him, glad that he was recovering

“That’s good. Keep someone with you though. We may be guests at the moment but that only stretches for so long.” Simon said and Seamus nodded

“What’s the news on Raphael and Lily?” Seamus asked. Simon turned back to his file before answering

“I don’t know much, I’ve been busy but the last I heard Lily was looking close to waking.” Simon said shuffling the papers around aimlessly. He didn’t want to think about this, about what could happen

“And...and Raphael?” Seamus asked and Simon shrugged

“It’s still touch and go. The burns aren’t healing.” Simon said lifelessly. The clatter of the chair hitting the floor alerted him to Seamus’ movement and he slowly turned to face the other fledgling

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say? He’s our fucking leader, your lover. You’re telling me you’d rather be doing paperwork than sitting with him?” Seamus shouted, anger pouring off him. Simon blinked, unsure of what to say. 

“This stuff has to get done. Someone has to do it and apparently as Raphael’s lover it falls to me.” Simon said. Seamus scoffed

“You really are cruel. I heard stories about you when I was living on the street. The fledgling without a clan. You were a ruthless back then, I watched you kill another vampire once. Hiding in an alley wondering if you were going to kill me next. You were called-” Seamus taunted, Simon knew he was taunting him. 

“I was called el Volantón Demonio. The Demon Fledgling.” Simon cut in sharply. He didn’t need to be reminded of what he had done to survive. What he had done so that those who would harm him thought twice. Simon watched dispassionately as Seamus scowled before storming out of the room. He would no doubt try and get more information out of Stan if Stan was here. Raphael and Lily had been transferred to Idris where they could get better treatment. Stan was going back and forth making sure everyone was informed on the latest treatments. Simon rubbed his eyes and checked the alarm clock that he had set up on the corner of the desk. It was close to sunrise and he had so much to go through. Most of Raphael’s paperwork had been salvaged though when they had been transporting it over they had definitely messed up the organization that Raphael had had. Scrubbing at his eyes again, Simon wondered if it was even worth it anymore. His lover would be hard pressed to ever wake again and the Shadowhunters would eventually decide that he was not worth wasting blood on. No doubt the next time Valentine had a successful raid and the Shadowhunters needed a lot of blood to treat their own people.

He let out a soft sigh before a wave of rage had him sending everything off the desk and onto the floor. He wanted to hit something and settled for punching a hole in the desk. Once his rage was gone he started collecting the files. One in particular caught his interest as it had both his and his father’s name on it. Carefully Simon read through it once, then twice before letting it slip through his fingers. Raphael had been digging into why the war was seeming to revolve around him. A Daylighter. Raphael had laid out on crisp white paper the steps to becoming one. Or, what was thought to be the procedure to becoming a Daylighter. If Simon could walk in the sun again he would be stronger. He could protect his clan better. But Raphael had stated downsides to the whole thing, Simon would still fear the sunlight, he would need more blood than the average vampire, he would give off vibes to those around him that he was a predator and even Mundanes would be wary of him. Still, to be able to protect his clan he would give anything. He would need help getting the ingredients though, most were not indigenous to North America and Simon couldn’t risk someone checking what he was ordering off the internet. Dropping the messy pile of papers down on the chair Simon flopped onto the floor and wondered when his life had become this soap opera.

 

Alec had not expected Simon to step into his office looking nervous

“Can I help you?” Alec asked and Simon dropped a worn, slightly charred but still familiar file onto the desk right in front of him. 

“I need your help to become a Daylighter.” Simon said and Alec frowned

“Simon, I understand you’re grieving but think about this.” Alec said diplomatically

“I have. I’ve not thought of anything else in a week. I need to do this. Raphael included a way to break a Sire bond and for that I need something only you can give me. Otherwise I would be going straight to Magnus for this shit.” Simon snapped and Alec raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. Simon looked slightly ashamed but didn’t back down. Alec almost wished he was still that Mundane that could be easily intimidated.

“Alright. I’ll start getting the things together. What did you need that only I could give you?” Alec asked passing the file back. Simon took it hesitantly

“I need to be killed by a Angel Child, to be dying from a holy object for the Sire bond to forsake me.” Simon said and Alec hissed at the thought. That would be a painful way to go, there would no doubt be some sort of magic involved to keep him from actually dying but the pain would only be extended due to said magic

“That could easily go wrong. Why me?” Alec asked confused. Surely Jace would be a better choice, he was far closer to the vampire clan than Alec was and even Izzy was closer to Simon than he was. Anyone but Clary would be a better choice. 

“Simon.” Alec said when Simon just shrugged and looked away. 

“Because I trust you to make it as painless as possible. Jace doesn’t have the control that you do and Izzy would never go for something like this. It has to be you.” Simon said. The unspoken ‘ _ I trust you _ ’ spoke volumes to Alec and threw him for a loop. Stumbling for his brain to catch up with what was going on, Alec nodded

“Alright. It’ll take some time to get everything. Have you spoken to Magnus about this yet. This will require a warlock if you don’t want to die.” Alec said clearing his throat to hide how it had tightened. Simon shook his head

“I wanted to talk to you first. I’m going to talk to him tonight.” Simon said and Alec nodded.

“Good luck.” Alec said and Simon grimaced

“Thanks.” Simon started to leave the office but paused halfway out. Alec raised an eyebrow when Simon turned back 

“Do you think the Clave will kill me or capture me to study when this is all over?” Simon asked with morbid curiosity and for a second time that night Simon had left Alec speechless. Simon seemed to find his own answer to the question

“I guess it doesn’t really matter. Take care of Raphael when I’m gone though.” He said and then he was gone. 

 

Jace found Seamus sitting in the makeshift common area that they had made for the vampires. The television was on and playing some Spanish show, the volume barely more than a whisper to his ears but it probably was still audible to Seamus’ sensitive ears. 

“Hey.” Jace said softly and Seamus turned to him. His eyes were red from crying and there were pink tracks down his cheeks

“What’s wrong?” Jace asked coming to sit beside Seamus who seemed to tense slightly before relaxing again. Seamus slid closer, tucking himself into the curve of Jaces side. Jace wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer, relaxing into the cool skin of his boyfriend

“I got in a fight with Simon when I was trying to apologize.” Seamus murmured into the cloth of Jace’s shirt. Jace raised an eyebrow at that 

“I thought you were going to talk to him earlier this week? I didn’t think you were going to put it off so long.” He said and Seamus huffed

“I didn’t. I talked to him on Tuesday and we fought and now he’s buried himself deeper into paperwork for the clan instead of sitting with Raphael who could die. It’s like he doesn’t even care.” Seamus said, anger sparking in the words. Jace frowned 

“Simon is grieving. He lost so many people during the fire, so many of those who died he was friends with. He might not act like you would expect but Simon is worried. He just can’t show it the proper way.” Jace said. Seamus hummed

“I think I said some pretty shitty stuff though. About his time on the streets.” Seamus said fingering a button on Jace’s leather jacket. Jace frowned as he still didn’t know much about Simon’s time on the streets. Raphael probably knew the whole story as well as Magnus and Alec but Jace had never been told much. Until now he never had really cared. Simon had survived and was back and that was all that mattered. 

“What do you mean?” Jace asked and Seamus pulled away to look Jace in the face. The eye contact didn’t last long, Seamus looked down ashamed 

“I taunted him about his nickname. He’s never going to forgive me for that.” Seamus said and Jace’s brows furrowed in confusion. 

“What nickname?” He asked and Seamus bit his lip. Knowing Seamus wasn’t good at hiding things that were bugging him and that with a little prodding that he would be able to get the information out of the fledgling

“Seamus, please.” He said and Seamus shrugged

“When Simon hit the streets he was like a shiny new toy; freshly made and tossed out by the Dumort Clan. Everyone wanted him and he had to fight a lot to keep whatever he had. It didn’t help that he had connections to the werewolves. He got a reputation for being deadly, to the point that rumors spread that he was actually a demon due to the way he could encanto Mundanes and kill other vampires. He got a nickname because of that, el Volantón Demonio. He was feared by a lot of vampires on the streets because he never seemed to show any emotions.” Seamus explained. Jace paled. He had heard several other Shadowhunters mention the name, the ones that monitored the Downworlders who lived on the streets. They had mentioned that they thought el Volantón Demonio had joined Camille and how he was right up her alley of crazy. To think that this was Simon, that Simon had been so greatly feared that he was known to the Shadowhunters as a threat. Jace stumbled to his feet. 

“Jace?” Seamus asked standing as well and reaching out to Jace. Jace let him touch his arm, to try and comfort Jace even though he didn’t know what was wrong

“I need to talk to Alec. I’m not mad at you but what you just told me is important and I need to talk to my brother.” Jace said pressing a kiss to Seamus’ temple. Seamus nodded and Jace sprinted out of the room, headed towards Alec’s office. Alec was sitting at his desk when Jace burst in

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He demanded, frustration bubbling up in his chest. Alec raised an eyebrow and set the book he had been reading down

“Tell you what?” He asked in the same tone he took when he thought Jace was being an idiot. Jace grit his teeth before answering

“That Simon was el Volantón Demonio. That I was hunting Simon!” Jace snapped. Alec sighed

“I didn’t know it was Simon either until Magnus told me. At that point we had already made contact with Simon and the killings had stopped. I didn’t see the point.” Alec said and Jace wanted to punch him

“How can you be so calm?” Jace asked. Alec shrugged

“I know Simon. He wouldn’t have killed those he did without a reason. He only became what he did because he needed to survive.” He said and Jace frowned. 

“I don’t think I can handle this. I’m going to Idris for a while. Until I can screw my head on straight.” Jace said. Alec nodded.

“I’ll aprove the transfer.” He said and Jace stormed out of the office. He didn’t notice Clary watching him from the training area or the way her lips curved into a smirk. 

**Author's Note:**

> So you've made it through. Please leave me comments, kudos and don't forget to subscribe and bookmark. If you want to talk I'm going to probably be on Tumblr for a while longer, my username is TwistedMetalTrees. If you see Stiles as the back banner you've probably found me. If you don't know who Stiles is...watch Teen wolf and then go read my other stories. :]
> 
> If you see any grammatical and spelling errors do not blame me, I ran this through Word so blame Microsoft.


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